Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Mar05

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 

Warning!  Adult Material Below!

March 26, 2005

I have a client that said he bought a new mouse for his computer and now his printer won't work; he says the mouse caused a printer jam.
I'll Race Ya
Ohhhhhhh, I think I ate too much kitty!
Damn! That Shortarmguy Sure Is Funny!
I love Car Shopping with kids!
Easy Stretches You Can Do While Working At Your Desk!
Fun With Forklifts!

This photo was sent to Shortarmguy this week from a nice lady along with several other silly pictures.  She captioned this photo of her daughter as follows:

 “Why we’ll never let our friend Greg baby-sit again!”  

It was a joke, so no angry emails!!!

March 20, 2005

Honey, You Just Don't Seem Quite Into This Tonight...
Listen to me if you want to improve the Horse Power on this bad boy...
Yes, Mrs. Bush, this does come in a Strap On version...
And the Renaissance Festival never had an unattended child again...
Exhibit 1 in the Michael Jackson Trial
Either Phil Mickelson just missed a Game Saving Putt or he's found new love...
For the last time, shut your damned mouth!!
Yeah, right! Like some sign is going to stop me from crapping on your lawn!
Jeez, Nike did you have to tell everyone?
I've been nervous about my wife since she bought this new knife holder...

March 13, 2005

Please, nobody ever tell me that they grew up in a rough neighborhood.  Can you imagine growing up in this part of Nigeria where the pets are hyenas?  Yeah, you can bring your Pit Bull or Rottweiller if you want, but I think your dog will get Punk’d right there on the spot!   This is probably a Nigerian gang (notice the arm bands) rolling through the hood.  Check out the home made muzzle!  And are they being walked with truck chains?

This is a side of Clay Aiken I never thought I'd see!
Maybe We Could Garnish The Slot Machine?
What happens when you swallow a Pumpkin Seed!
For some reason, Puppies just kept coming out of the poor girl's mouth...
Anne is a frequent contributor to She sent this story along with the following amazing picture of a tornado! OK, The story that I got is that my friend has a friend that use to work for him and was always taking risks in life (a forty-two year old Guy who now lives in Kansas and ..Get this, actually chases tornado's as his biggest hobby in life. Whew!! When he is not chasing them he is being chased by one. He takes pictures of them and at my friends request sent a picture. My friend said when I ask" can you get in touch with him"? He laughed and said "only if you know where the next devastating treacherous storm would most likely find him there. This last one kept him down for a month or so because the tornado caused a piece of wood to fracture his jaw........ok....maybe this guy is nut's but he is off chasing the""as I hear it" mother natures many wrath's. So that's all I could get. I do think I will try and find out where he is and get some more news. That's Wild! But Who knows LOL ...I just forward them. Anne PS..OH YES THE GUY WAS A TOP SALES PERSON. You know how those salespeople are....LOL... they never give up!!??"""!!
Anna Nicole Redefines the word Class at the Australian MTV Video Awards!
Sojan, the creator of, has been working on some new logos and T-shirt designs for Shortarmguy. We're not ready to launch them yet, but I enjoyed the early drafts so much I thought I'd give a sneak peek at what's to come!

March 6, 2005

Some incredible new photos were found of the tsunami. Unfortunately, the photographer isn't around to capitalize on them! Story can be read here.
Letter To Dr Ruth
Ads You Just Won't See In Real Life!
What happens when you swallow a Pumpkin Seed!
Baby's Best Friend
I've Heard Of Hot Dogs....
Dining Room set for sale This is an actual photo that was put in the classified ads for someone selling a dining room set. There's a pretty strong clue in here suggesting that it was taken by a man. Sharpen your powers of observation and try to find the clue. Good luck. Keep looking!!
Why it's not always fun to have the window seat on an airplane!
Redneck Puppy

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