Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Feb04

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits!

Warning! Adult Material Below!

February 29, 2004

Gay Marriage is on! Shortarmguy jumped on the bandwagon this week by flying out to California to join the party! He wanted to take advantage of the loopholes created by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom who cleared the way for the marriages. Although he isn’t gay, it had been Shortarmguy’s lifelong dream to marry a really, big fish. Now it is done.

I swear that recruiter said 1 weekend a month!

I’ve heard of riding with your top down, but this is a first for me.

Winner of the wet T-shirt contest

How hot dogs are really made!

Nice Email Of The Week

Dear shortarmguy,

 I’ve seen most of your site and read your biography. The stuff you do with the pictures, swapping heads and shit, is great. I do this stuff myself  but you come up with some neat stuff. I can honestly say I don’t know another site where I can go and just look at the pics and forget the regular daily hassles. You have a great site and I will recommend it to my friends. Great Job. Oh! by the way the people you mentioned who stare..remember they are intellectually challenged as well as being sh.t heads.

Later, Mark

Mark was kind enough to send me some of his creations as well. The following were my two favorites:

February 22, 2004

Drudge Report is claiming that John Kerry has been having a scandalous affair with a young intern turned journalist named Alex Polier according to an article they’ve linked to here.  Shortarmguy was able to locate these pictures of the two of them together and is now showing them to the world for the first time!  

“OK, John.  You say it like this…I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Polier.”

“Yeah, Bill….I think I have that part down, but I’m afraid I don’t poke my finger at the air as good as you….”

What things would have looked like had the whole top of the outfit been pulled off…

Now that McDonalds has signed Yao Ming as their new spokesperson, they’re focusing their efforts in signing Britney for next year’s commercials.  Here’s a sneak peek…

Negotiating Peace Texas Style

Reaction To Serena

Do a search on Google Images for the word BOOBS and you will find the picture from our good friend Heidi featured in my May, 2003 crazy emails (link to original email here).  It’s on the second page of links and must be a pretty popular search term, because hundreds of people are discovering my site every day because of this.  This morning, I received the following email:

 i seen the email of the girl who sent you a pic of her boobs and it freaked me out cuz i swear on my life that her boobs are mine … and im not even joking … she has the same bed as i do … boobs…lol…..freckle in the same spot and hair color….

So I sent her this response:

Hey, Tara!
That’s quite bizarre! 
I can kind of understand what you’re talking about when you say everything looks similar, but I would only be able to fully grasp the situation if I had a similar picture from you for comparison sake.  It may be the only way to get to the bottom of this controversy!
The girl who sent me that picture was nice enough to model one of my Shortarmguy shirts for me on a different occasion, although you can’t see her face in those photos either.  You can see these pictures towards the bottom of this page:
If you think these pictures looks like you as well, then you might want to watch to see if anyone is sneaking little pills into your drinks!!
I hope you like my site and take care!!!!

I’ll let you know if I hear back from her…

The Shortarmguy Family visited Disney World for the past week. We were celebrating a couple of things with the trip.  First, we always promised the ourselves a trip after  Luke and Avery’s last surgery which was in November of 2003.  God Willing it was the last surgery that is!  Mr. and Mrs. Shortarmguy also had our 10 year wedding anniversary while we were there.  Shortarmguy was constantly mobbed by screaming fans as can be seen below in the Magic Kingdom. 

February 15, 2004

Now that Janet has received so much attention, everyone wants to get into the act!

And Howard Dean is trying to hop on board the attention train!!!

I thought this one was pretty clever…

Cliff Nelson Discovered This Statue of the Mexican Shortarmguy

The Super Bowl Streaker

After living in Iowa and Minnesota all my life, this is exactly how I feel!

February 5, 2004

Justin and Janet’s Super Bowl Flash (Click Picture For Animated Version)

They’re trying to claim it was an accident!  Ms. Jackson always wears suns around her nipples I guess!  What a crock!  Do you think Janet and Justin just didn’t notice all the publicity Britney and Madonna received for their kiss on MTV? 

Shortarmguy or Jay Leno?

Hi Shortarmguy!

I’ve had the distinct pleasure of viewing your web site for some time now.  I very much enjoy your sense of humour and the crazy content you seem to continually dig up.

Speaking of crazy content….. I took this picture just the other day on my way home from work.  It looks like someone was playing with a local billboard.  I laughed my ass of, and promptly took a picture.

I thought about how I might be able to make some money with this picture…. maybe send it to Jay Leno or something…. but decided the best course of events would be to send it to you as a thanks for all of the entertainment.

Take care man!


One school I sure don’t want to send my kids to…

The Real Saddam Capture Photo

Miss Chernobyl

My thoughts exactly

Getting Kerried Away!

Mishap Of The Week

56-foot sperm whale’s insides lie strewn about after its belly burst due to decomposition while being transported to the National Cheng Kung University in Tainan in southern Taiwan on January 26, 2004. The whale ran aground and died on a beach in the southwestern county of Yunlin on January 17. (Taiwan Apple daily via Reuters)

Nice Email Of The Week

You are the man.  Awesome site, very inspirational and also hilarious.

3 hours have basically flown by.


Robert included a $20 Donation with this email…..Yayyyyyyy!!!!

Donations can be made here: 

All donations go towards the hosting and development of

Donations can be made here: 

February 1, 2004


The Spirit Rover was able to send back a couple strange photos before it broke.

The Spirit Rover was able to send back a couple strange photos before it broke.

Bring Your Child To Work Day Is Coming…

Superheroes can be found in wheelchairs you know…

Crazy Email Archives