Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Apr05 – Shortarmguy: Crazy emails, funny videos, inspirational stories, and interesting links!

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!

Warning! Adult Material Below!

April 30, 2005

Nice Email Of The Week

Mr. Guy,

That you would belittle and demean your condition and that of others, amuses me to no end.

Seriously, what a great site !! Your attitude of mental health and tenacity is refreshing !!

I happened upon your site while doing a google image search for “skidmarks” !!

It made my day and I just wanted to say thank you.

I try to laugh at myself and get over myself everyday.

Keep on doing what you’re doing. Thanks !!

Regards,
Dave Crawford (just a fat guy)

April 24, 2005

If you fly a plane this statement is worth a look! The guy who tilled this message in his soil is a Wells County farmer with a message for everyone! He says that on Dec. 6, 1946, corn was $1.47 per bushel. The day he tilled this in the soil, it was $1.45 per bushel! Go figure! This field is located in NE 1/4 Sect. 9, 146:90 Speedwell Township , Wells County in North Dakota . The farmer did it with no GPS system or anything! It almost looks like it is a retouched photo, but it is NOT! It was taken yesterday, Sunday, April 10, 2005! He plans to seed the field to sunflowers in May, so the message's days are numbered.

April 17, 2005

I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company starting to erect a pole in front of my house. they were going to position it directly in front of my picture window.

No way, absolutely no way was I going to permit this.

I gulped down my last bit of coffee and went directly to the crew supervisor and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not going to permit his crew to put that stupid electrical pole directly in front of my picture window.

He took out a plat map, a map for pole locations and a right of way document and explained that it is the best location for it.

I told him it is not the best location for me and when I came home from work that day I did not want to find that pole in front of my window.

I told him I didn’t give a hoot where he put it but not in front of my window.
I felt pretty smug as I drove off to work because I felt I got my point across.
I know darn well they are afraid to put it there now….

Ah….. the feeling of power….

……at least until I got home.

Hello.

I was having a bad day and I happened upon your web page. Thank you for making me smile today.

Suzy

April 9, 2005

For those who believe nothing exciting ever happens in Kansas, except tornados, check this out . . .

The Good news:
It was a normal day in Sharon Springs , KS when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train to head on the long trek back to Salina .

The Bad news:
Just a few miles into the trip a wheel bearing becomes overheated and melts off letting the truck support drop down and grind on top of the rail creating white hot molten metal droppings to spew downward on the rail.

The Good news:
A very alert crew noticed a small amount of smoke about halfway back in the train and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules.

The Bad news:
The train just happened to stop with the hot wheel on top of a wooden bridge built with creosote ties and trusses

ShortArmGuy,

I feel weird calling you that…but oh well.

Hi! My name is Becca i’m 21 years old and I am a junior at Indiana University….oh yeah, and I have bi-radial club hands. I’m a very outgoing person, and making friends has never been hard for me…hell, I didn’t realize that I was that different from anyone else until some kid made fun of my “short funny lookin’ weird arms” in the hallway on the way to lunch in the second grade.

Reading through your website has been quite enjoyable for me, simply because I have lived with the same crap. I’ve actually developed a 6th sense. I can sense when annoying people stare at me where ever I go, especially at restaurants…I too use the stare-back method to make the people staring feel as uncomfortable as possible. I’m not going to lie…I enjoy it. I usually call out adults when they are just blatantly staring and making me feel like i’m some freak in a road side carnival on display…thats the best, because they don’t expect it all.

For example, when I was a freshman in high school I was at the movie theater w/ a bunch of my friends. I was walking with one of my good friends and the rest of my friends were walking behind us…well, this man probably about mid 40’s…(you know old enough to know better, stupid enough to think I wouldn’t notice)…was standing by the snack bar, with i’m assuming his wife. While the couple was engaging in conversation I caught the man’s eye when I walked past, he stopped what he was saying and actually turned his head away from her, to look at my arms. Now, that is just rude…I mean, i expect people to look, please!…that’s just human nature. However, can you imagine how the woman must have felt? I mean I would have been mortified if I was talking to a guy and he stopped our conversation to check out another girl…let alone one with A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. So, I guess all of my friends noticed that this jerk was staring at me and were hoping that I hadn’t noticed, but when we got to the door to wait for one of our moms to pick us up, I told the girls that I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn’t wait…they all yelled, “no Becca, don’t its not worth it…” I walked back to the man at the snack bar and politely asked him for the time…while doing this I rolled up my sleeves and made sure that he saw on my left wrist a little child-sized ironman digital watch. He gave me a weird expression and told me it was 9:00 PM and I said really enthusiastically, thanks so much sir, I just wanted you to get a better look. Haha, his jaw dropped to the floor and it was one of those moments I will never forget.

I don’t really know why this matters to you…it really doesn’t, but I have never talked to anyone else that has radial club hands…and when I read your Legend of ShortArmGuy…it felt like I was talking about my own life. I hope you and your family are well. Thank you for for your time and reading this awfully long e-mail. I’ll make sure to check the website for future hilarious pictures and e-mails.

Thanks again,

Becca

April 2, 2005

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