Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Apr08

The Pope in the US
Ronald McDonald on a Bad Day!
More Demotivational Posters
Ummmmmm.....did anyone bring an umbrella?
Someone's Been Shopping

Quote of the Week

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

– Charles Darwin, biologist

Joke of the Week

High Urinals


A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack at Trentham to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.


When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.


Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their ‘wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.


As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.   Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said,


‘You must be in the 5th grade.’


‘No, ma’am’, he replied. 


‘I’m the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.’


The 3 Candidates
Whole Lotta Undies
South America + Africa = TREX
Serious Loader Skills
I think the Deer are ready for Spring as well!

Quote of the Week

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady

Joke of the Week

A Firefighter was working on the engine outside

the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in

a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the

sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

 The girl was wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon

was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.

‘That sure is a nice fire truck,’ the firefighter said with admiration.

‘Thank you,’ the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the

girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the

cat’s testicles.

‘Little partner,’ the firefighter said. ‘I don’t want to tell you

how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around

the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.’

The little girl replied thoughtfully, ‘Maybe you are right,

but then I wouldn’t have a siren.’

What Hillary Does to Deal with Stress
Sorry, not interested.
The New $5 Dollar Bill! turn, fellas.
Serious Loader Skills
Act Bold!
Real Life Titanic Moment
Poster from Prohibition ---- Guessing it turned more people to alcohol than was intended.
What a Nice Young Lady!

Quote of the Week

 “Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius.”

– An Wang, industrialist

Joke of the Week

From a Packers Fan:

It was announced today that Brett Favre is moving to Minnesota.

When asked why, he said after retiring he wanted to get as far away from professional football as he could!

We’ll see who’s laughing at the end of next season!

Best Campaign Buttons of 2008
You're a Monkey Booger Picker!
Don't feel like you need to wait for me before you take the family photo....
Now that's just too cute...
Best Tattoo of 2008!
Best Argument For Gun Rights I've Ever Seen!
I think I'd be a little nervous following this guy...

Quote of the Week

 “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.”

— Charles Kingsley, Clergyman

Joke of the Week

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
 wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

  A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial
 sponge bath. ‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from behind the
 mask. ‘Are my testicles black?’

 Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, ‘I don’t know,
  Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and
 feet. ‘He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, please
 check. Are my testicles black?’

  Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and
 heart rate from worry about his testicles, she
 overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the
 covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one
  hand and his testicles in the other.  Then, she takes a close look and says, There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!’

 The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and
 says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was
 wonderful, but, listen very, very closely……

 ‘A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?’


Nice Emails of the Week

Hey, Todd!

Here’s a video clip that you may think about using for your web site in the future.

Thanks for doing what you do!  I love the site.


Crazy Email Archives