Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Jun03

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits!

Warning! Adult Material Below!

June 29, 2003

Mice Love!

Mice Love!


Mice Love!


What their children will look like…

Shortarmguy’s Buddys, The Rap Bastardz, have just released a really cool new CD!

How can you not love the Tardz?  Click above for details.

June 22, 2003

This new urinal is the Hottest Christmas Gift for men ever!

This new urinal is the Hottest Christmas Gift for men ever!

If you’re in Warren, Michigan or within a 600 mile radius, you need to check out the finest pub around called Mitchell O’Briens Pub. 2690 East 10 Mile Road.

They have the best quality & selection of English beers on tap. It is so authentic that you’ll swear you just walked into the bar from the movie An American Werewolf in London.

Seriously, you’ll walk in the first time and someone will shout at you “Stay on the road, beware the moors, beware the moon!”

That gets a bit spooky, but you’ll relax and forget all about it after a couple of cocktails.

I’ve also heard that if you coax the bartenders hard enough, they’ll do some of those fancy bartender tricks like Tom Cruise does in the movie Cocktail.

Best of all, the owner is a fan of

My guess is, if you tell him you found out about his bar on this website, he’d probably score you a free drink.

Ask for Chris.

June 14, 2003

Supposedly, this is a real billboard. PETA must not have a real big branch office in whatever city this is located!

I can’t decide if this picture is funny or just really, really sad.

June 6, 2003

The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty.

The Fat Ass Guide to Walking The Dog

It’s a Great Gas Grill, but I sure don’t want to eat the Hot Dogs!

June 1, 2003

Shortarmguy hung out at the Colonial golf tournament this week, but was kicked off the course.  He’s not sure why.  All he did was follow Annika Sorenstam around shouting “Nice hole, Annika!”

Shortarmguy loves feminists, but feels they take life too seriously.  He likes to stir things up with them for fun.  Shortarmguy tried to lighten them up at this year’s Masters Tournament as can be seen below! 


This tongue-splitting trend is so cool! Shortarmguy is going to get it done….right after he gets his balls pierced!

Apparently not all soldiers in Iraq are being greeted with waves and hugs!

It’s a Great Gas Grill, but I sure don’t want to eat the Hot Dogs!

Crazy Email Archives