Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Jun05

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email the best stuff you get.  I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits! 

Warning!  Adult Material Below!

June 26, 2005


If only this guy and Shortarmguy could hook up, the world would be right.
Protecting the nation can be downright stressful. It's nice that George and Condi can relax together sometimes...
He might not be guilty, but he's still fun to tease...
I gotta get me one of these...
Hey ladies, check this out!
I thought this was a neat picture of the new pope...
I'm glad your shirt cleared up that issue for me!
This Was Sent To Me With The Caption "The true power of money"
You don't have to tell me twice on this one...
Ummm, John. HR wants to talk with you.

June 18, 2005

Fun Places To Take A Guy's Picture
Fun Ways To Screw With Your Co-Workers
What To Do With A Farmer's Tan
Let's Go To The Lake!
Chivalry Isn't Dead

Nice Email Of The Week

R. Todd-
I was visiting milkandcookies and checked you out after learning about standing waves
Even though it bears little resemblance to cornstarch, I enjoy your site.  I gotta check back in later to know if the boat goes out for a rematch with the rock and if Sheri has achieved her lifelong goal of a full night of sleep.  (oops…I started this on April 12 and am just got around to cleaning up my drafts folder.  I’ll check later.  Maybe the boat saga is resolved.) 
My boyfriend mentions that men get hit-on more once they are married.  I must agree this is true.  WHOMP!
Here’s a nudie pic…
My warmest wishes to your family clan!
You reminded me of a few good lessons and I thank you.  I have ten fingers and ten toes but I have had similar experiences.  Apparently construction workers aren’t supposed to be 4 foot-something, 110 lbs. – and female.  The guys had me in strength but I could do less damage on ducts and scamper further in crawlspaces.  With wisdom I’ve become more yielding and stronger as a result.  I’ve since gone to the “feminine” world of massage therapy, specializing in deep tissue.  I still have similar challenges but a put in my own *positive* spin.  My freakishness is my own marketing.  First time clients meet me and look dismayed but being too polite to cancel the appointment.  Then when I actually do a quality job they are doubly pleased and point out “the little girl with a lot of power” to anyone who will listen. 
So once again, thanks for your story and a glimpse into your outlook on life.
Heather VanLeer


June 11, 2005

People always ask me what happened to my arms. Well, this isn't a picture of the exact incident, but I was doing something very similar to this.
This was sent to Shortarmguy by a friend who owns a Spa in the Southwest. Todd, I had to send you this! Yes, there are men out there that look like this. After 12 yrs. of doing body waxing I can say I have seen this first hand! Tell, Sheri I love her haircut!! It looks great, hope all is super. Lori
Buster was so sick and tired of being abused by his owner. Then he discovered he could fly...
Fishing In Texas
Redneck Fishing Boat
This happened on Prior Lake, Minnesota. Right next to Shortarmguy's House. I received this email from a friend of mine, Jimi Jamm Gilbertson, who lives on the lake: This is a brand new boat, not even registration on it yet. Nobody got hurt, the guy driving it was the only one in it. Apparently after the crash people ran over to help him and he was saying something to the effect of "come on, help me push it back in, please don't call the cops". I guess it was his girlfriend's boat, she was heard saying your going to write me a $40,000 check and swearing at him. Way to go buddy.
Wow! Those XRAY specs I bought in that comic book really work!
Body Food
Big Brother's Julie Chen just loves Shortarmguy!

The Rooster In The Refinery Revisited

Shortarmguy is still waiting for the photo from the guy who said he worked in a refinery with 50 Shortarmguy fans and one really weird Rooster Creature that I showed on last week’s website.

Apparently there’s some problems with getting pictures of the group because it’s against company policy to have pictures taken within the refinery.  They may try to organize a group picture outside the building.  This is is what he said:


“Sounds cool! I will see how many of them I can get to pose. There may
be problems with the company emblems on our uniforms, we’ll see what we can
come up with. We saw that you posted the (Rooster) Pic and 49 of us are extremely happy. I think
that you may underestimate your popularity. Everybody that I talk to at work
knows your site.”

I still think that it’s probably a kid refining chemicals in his parent’s basement, but at least he seems to be a nice guy!

June 5, 2005

People always ask me: Shortarmguy, we know you have 4 fingers on each hand, but what the heck do your feet look like? Well, I finally got around to taking a picture of them for the site...enjoy!
Ummm, we almost there yet? I'm starting to feel claustrophobic between you two...
Best Postcard Ever!
Redneck Hot Tub
But have you seen the other Saddam photos that didn't get as much attention?
You ever just get really bored while you're taking a crap?
Pimp My Buggy!
I Knew I Should Have Bought That Extended Warranty!
I'm sure most of you have seen this picture of Saddam in his underwear.
The Rooster In The Refinery

Shortarmguy received an email from a guy who says he works in a large refinery in a workgroup with 50 people.  He says that is very popular with his team.  He also says they have a problem with a strange rooster-like creature that has been spotted repeatedly around their facility.  Unfortunately, nobody has been able to catch this poor animal, but they were lucky enough to snap the above photo.  Now my guess is this photo is a fake and the refinery full of fans is probably more like a young kid refining some strange chemicals in his bedroom while his mom and dad are downstairs.  But I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.  

I requested a photo of this guy’s refinery workgroup with some kind of proof that they really like  If he can come up with that, then The Rooster Legend must be true as well!

Crazy Email Archives