November 30, 2007
Quote of the Week
“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. “
— Woody Allen, director
Joke of the Week
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of “Here I come again. ONE, TWO, THREE, UGH!” all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, “How did it go?”
The first mutters, “It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn’t get an erection.”
The second dwarf shook his head. “You think that’s embarrassing? I couldn’t even get on the bed.”
Nice Emails of the Week
Swankster,
I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas. I look forward to coming in on Monday mornings to view these. I don’t know where you get your material but I can always count on a great laugh.
Take care of your self bud.
Your friend,
-Paul
December 23, 2007
Quote of the Week
“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. “
— Woody Allen, director
Joke of the Week
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of “Here I come again. ONE, TWO, THREE, UGH!” all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, “How did it go?”
The first mutters, “It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn’t get an erection.”
The second dwarf shook his head. “You think that’s embarrassing? I couldn’t even get on the bed.”
Nice Emails of the Week
Swankster,
I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas. I look forward to coming in on Monday mornings to view these. I don’t know where you get your material but I can always count on a great laugh.
Take care of your self bud.
Your friend,
-Paul
Thanks for being there,
Van
Toronto, Canada
Hey SAG-
I’ve been following your site for too many years to remember and always love the new pics, vids and comments you place on your site. Like most people, sometimes not everyday is awesome and when these times have hit my life, i have found myself distracted by what’s going on in real life by going to your site. Thanks for the continued awesomeness and I came across this link that made me giggle at fart jokes again. If you have to the time, check it out–it is too funny to pass!
December 16, 2007
Quote of the Week
“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”
— Brian Tracy, Author
Jokes of the Week
tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, “No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving
a hearse for the last 25 years.”
Nice Emails of the Week
Loved your update, everything looked soooooo familiar 🙂
glad we have the same sense of humor (WORRPED)
Ps, you and family look like you have so much fun, you are truly blessed.
miss July
DAMN YOU, Shortarmguy!
December 9, 2007
Quote of the Week
“In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.”
— Solon, Greek politician
Jokes of the Week
RECTUM STRETCHER
While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a
bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”
To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “what do you do?”
I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.
The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I
work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely stretch it , until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked
“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop’s Face……. PRICELESS
For everything else, there’s MasterCard!
Nice Emails of the Week
Okay, dude, you two look good elfed!!!
Mrs. T
December 2, 2007
Quote of the Week
“The people who get on in this world are the ones who get up and look for the circumstances they want and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
— George Bernard Shaw, Playwright
Jokes of the Week
tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, “No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”
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