Shortarmguy’s Crazy Emails Dec03

On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day.  So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get.  I’ll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get.  Although I didn’t create the items on this list, my feeling is that they’re in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people.  So no more damn copyright lawsuits!

Warning! Adult Material Below!

December 28, 2003

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December 28, 2003

Special Saddam Got Busted Mid-Week Addition

Original Crazy Emails for this week

What happens when you have
1) nothing to do
2) a sharp knife
3) a large lime
4) a patient cat
5) too much tequila
6) and it’s football season

I used to live with knuckleheads who would pull stunts like this

Ever just feel really lucky?

According to website statistics, somebody from CBSSC.COM has visited Shortarmguy.com many times over the past couple of months.

My guess is you’re a television producer considering Shortarmguy for a part in one of your fine television shows.  (List is on the left) 

Stop hesitating.  It will be a good move for you.  

It’s time to Exploit A Cripple!

Shortarmguy could be the crippled guy who kicks Bernice Mac’s ass or a motivational speaker who inspires Stevie, the wheelchair kid, on Malcolm in the Middle.

How about a wacky drug dealer who sells Kelso some pot on That 70’s Show?

If you’re paranoid Shortarmguy won’t accept the part you’re considering, don’t worry about it. 

Shortarmguy will be your bitch.  

Just tell him which way to bend. 

December 15, 2003

Amen, Brother.

Motorcycle Airbags.

Belly Button Piercings really turn me on…

Redneck Car Lock

December 7, 2003

I never noticed this in the original Home Alone Movie Poster!

Now why would I ever be scared of Howard Dean as president of the United States?

If men designed Christmas Wrapping Paper:

Crazy Email Archives