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Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails
On this page, I will post the funniest emails I receive on any given day. So email shortarmguy@aol.com the best stuff you get. I'll only post the cream of the crop and not the other crap I get. Although I didn't create the items on this list, my feeling is that they're in the public domain since they were emailed to me with 600 other people. So no more damn copyright lawsuits!
Warning! Adult Material Below!
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February 26, 2006
A special Thank You To Vice President Dick Cheney for helping fill my inbox with a bunch of new humorous emails!
This is a picture of Niagara Falls completely frozen in 1911
More Banned Children's Books
Nice Emails Of The Week
Hi,
I just read your prayer request from Sandy and wanted to let you know that I will keep your Dad in my prayers.
A friend sent me to your site and you are such an inspiration!!!
Love Dottie
Hey shortarmguy! You may remember me from
a few years ago, I sent you the picture of the Rhino with a huge erection!
Anyway,
I haven't had many good posts for you lately, but a fraternity brother of
mine has made a great video about making beer. You
should go to beerjuggs.com and check it
out. If you can, let others know about it!
Also, check out Karimaweb.com for high
resolution pictures of the new Tomb Raider chick, Karima Adebibe. Please
link Karimaweb, we're all trying to make a buck, aren't we?
Jeremy Overton
Have a lovely weekend!
Denise
Joke Of The Week
Mick walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling,
this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a
sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
February 19, 2006
I Love The Winter Olympics!!!
This Valentine's Day...
How can you not love a baby elephant?
That's a heck of a deal for that kind of a smell!
I think they'll finally get the message!
All right, fellas. We need to have a discussion about positive attitudes.
Half cat. Half giraffe.
Sneaky Ronald.
Nice Email Of The Week
I like your site, especialy mpg. hahaha
Joke Of The Week
The Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says,
"Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then . . ," he sighed . .
". . . let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
This is Something You And Your Valentine will love!!
February 12, 2006
Excellent Condom Ad
Yoga in India
Yoga in Mexico
Bad day to be a mouse.
Ummmm.....you type better than you look.
Toys that didn't quite make it to market!
Nice Emails Of The Week
Hi Todd,
You have a really funny site.
Like I said in my subject line my son has club foot. It makes him run and walk
funny, but it doesn't bother him at all except for the fact
that his right shoe comes off easily. He is also fairly short and gets called
names all the time about it. Like you he is very bright, because of that I
can't wait to show him your site (of course with some adult supervision since
he's only 11).
I have just one short story about the shock value of having a slight handicap
that he has. My neighbor was outside with his toddler when Ryan and I were
goofing off kicking a football around. He took a nice kick at it and his shoe
went higher than the football. My neighbor was laughing hard (no malice because
he didn't even know) at this and kidded Ryan about it.
Ryan told him that happens all the time because of his club foot. I thought my
neighbor was going to die of shame on the spot. Ryan was only 9 years old at
the time and said it in such a matter of fact manner that the impact was
ironically even worse.
Best regards,
Bill
Hey mate! love your site was looking for
movies to download and 99.99% of what i have are from your site. im
in Australia and i know a few people who frequently visit your site your a world
wide craze. I was just wondering though this new program you have for the
clips wont let me save any i can only view them do i need to get another program
so i can download them?
Anywho keep up the GOOD work your a legend.
Craigo....... :-)
Jay is a friend of Shortarmguy from Windsor, Canada which is within spitting distance of tonight's Super Bowl.
Jay is the creator of an "Email Soap Opera" called Reality Forest. Following are some pictures from recent episodes. If you'd like to receive episodes from Jay, send him an email at: jaybanx@mnsi.net
Personal Identity --- It looks like a college student in Canada is writing a paper about me. I'm guessing she gets an A+ because the topic is so fascinating!!
Well, Krazy Kory was a little upset because he didn't think this girl knew what Shortarmguy.com was all about.
I hope none of my good friends in Canada are offended by his email!
Shortarmguy,
Sumran, you don't have a clue how to write a paper...I thought research is the key element in writing college papers...you ought to try it sometime. Don't get me wrong, you are way hot and probably having a good time in college, but try going to class once in a while to LEARN how to write a paper. If you had any clue at all you would have realized that Shortarmguy is just trying to be funny and wanted to share his story...that is it!!! I would like to give you credit that your theory was probable at best to start, and that you maybe hypothesized accurately that there are some weirdos pretending to be something other than themselves online...but you wrote one half-assed paper!! Good luck graduating.
Krazy Kory
Joke Of The Week
Friendship
Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she
had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had
slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best
friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that
he was still there.
February 5, 2006
Crack Kills
The most popular car in Florida!
This is really sad...
Creative Expressions
Nice Emails Of The Week
I was searching on google for crazy emails and I found you..... I love this and I'm forwarding your website to everyone I know!!!
YOU ROCK!!!
Yo
shortarmguy, me and my m8 made a kl video of the simpsons. Its funny so could
u plz put it on ur website, that would make my day.
Dave
Hello shortarmguy
i have attached a video file i have made of a commercial aired on Australian
television in about 2000-2001
i thought this might make a nice contribution to your collection of funny
videos and commercials
i hope you enjoy it
Brian
P.S i am sorry about the quality of the video i live in a area of bad
reception
Joke Of The Week
I recently picked a new primary care
physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly
well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"
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Crazy Email Archives
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Feedback for me?
Suggestions for site improvements?
Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here?
Links to inspirational sites?
Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend?
Email me at shortarmguy@aol.com.
Copyright © 2006 by Swank! Productions --- All rights reserved