Quote of the Week
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
Satan shudders and says…”Oh shit …he’s awake!!!
Jokes of the Week
I saw a billboard sign that said:
NEED HELP?
CALL JESUS
1-800-555-3787
Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower
Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks, ‘Do you know what I miss most of all?
She asks, ‘What?’
‘SEX!!!’
Annabel exclaims, ‘Why you old fart, you couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!’
‘I know,’ Howard says, ‘but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while.’
‘Well, I can oblige’, says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard’s manhood. Then, one night, Howard didn’t show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident-who was holding Howard’s manhood!
Furious, Annabel yelled, ‘You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don’t have?!’
Howard smiled happily and replied, ‘Parkinson’s.’
Nice Emails of The Week
hello i saw you on miami ink and i went to your website it is really cool
Tom M
Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites
August 3, 2008
Amazing Inflatable Launch!
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