Prior Lake Jazzfest

July 18, 2010 Prior Lake Jazzfest
My boss, David Bollig, went to Washington DC this week and all I got was this lousy picture of lightning striking the capitol building!
It’s been hot in Minnesota lately. All anyone wants to do is be in the water including my dog, Sunny. We go over to the neighbor’s beach and throw tennis balls a lot and their golden retriever, Travis, really likes to join us as well. It’s fun watching them each race for the ball! Especially when I don’t really throw it…
I sometimes throw balls for the boys to chase as well but they just sit there on the swim platform and stare at them.
When we get bored throwing balls for dogs, we like to take Grandma Linda out on the boat and watch her try to keep her hair from getting messed up.
Then when we get bored with that, we like to leave her on the boat and all try to swim away from her as fast as we can!
Even Miss Sheri gets in on the action, even though she can’t really swim all that well. Lucky for me, I think she looks really sexy in a life jacket!
It’s hard to believe, but the boys turned 11 years old this week. Since they’re getting older, we don’t throw them elaborate birthday parties any more. We just slap some candles on a doughnut and say “Way to go!”
All right, we did give them a little bit of a party and allowed them to bring some friends to a movie. We saw The Last Airbender. The kids seemed to like it, but I had to fight off the urge to throw up in my mouth pretty much throughout the entire movie. Not that it was gross or anything. Just really, really boring and I thought vomiting might make things a little more exciting for me while I waited for it to finally get over.

On Saturday night, we went to the First Annual Prior Lake Jazz Festival where we saw artists like Jonny Lang, Nick Colionne, and Lil ‘Ed and the Blues Imperials. They say 14,000 people crammed in to Lakefront Park that night, but I swear I only counted 13, 825.

Two of the people we counted were our old buddies, Sean and Ann Quinlan. They get really jazzed up about this kind of music.
Unfortunately, we showed up a couple of hours too early so by the time Jonny Lang hit the stage, the boys were Jazzfested out and demanded we go home. But we did get to listen to him for a couple of songs and I’ll tell you one thing….that boy sure knows how to play his music!
Before he performed, I stalked Jonny Lang’s trailer and snapped a bunch of pictures of him walking to the stage. I noticed in this picture that he seems to be staring at me and smiling. So in case anyone of you doesn’t believe that Jonny Lang and I are close friends, you now have seen this picture which proves you wrong!!

Quote of the Week

“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.”
— Stan Smith, Tennis Champion

Link To Last Week’s Diary Entry

July 11, 2010 4th of July in Branson

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for January 6, 2013

Playoffs 2013

Good News For Grandma

Shark Eating Shark

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 30, 2012

Christmas Funnies 2012

Stacking Wood

Still The Light, By Cameo Smith (Mt. Wolf, PA)

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious,
their laughter filled the air…
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
Remembering nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is Heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

In that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew to the arms of their King
As they lingered in the warmth of His blessed embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
When He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 16, 2012

Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas,
Dear Timmy, Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.* Merry Christmas,* Santa Claus*** * *
Mr. Claus, Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones * *
Mr. Jones, While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days. Very Truly Yours, S Claus * *
Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone * *
Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy * *
Dear Santa, Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything. Timmy * *
> Timmy, > > That’s what I thought you little bastard. > Santa

Not Afraid of Heights

Snow Quilts

Artist Simon Beck must really love the cold weather!
Along the frozen lakes of Savoie, France, he spends days plodding through the snow in raquettes (snowshoes), creating these sensational patterns of snow art.
Working for 5-9 hours a day, each final piece is typically the size of three soccer fields!
The geometric forms range in mathematical patterns and shapes that create stunning, sometimes 3D, designs when viewed from higher levels.
How long these magnificent geometric forms survive is completely dependent on the weather. Beck designs and redesigns the patterns as new snow falls, sometimes unable to finish a piece due to significant overnight accumulations.
The main reason for making them was because I can no longer run properly due to problems with my feet, so plodding about on level snow is the least painful way of getting exercise. Gradually, the reason has become photographing them, and I am considering buying a better camera. – Simon Beck