Madison Bailey’s Graduation

Diary Entry For June 21, 2009 Email Shortarmguy at
On Saturday night, we had the privilege and honor of helping young Madison Bailey celebrate her recent graduation from high school.
Madison was born into the Hornbuckle clan which virtually assures her a life of success and grandeur. Although nobody wanted to tell her this, she could have skipped high school all together and still would have had her choice of golden career opportunities thanks to the fantastic societal contributions of her three uncles. Lucky Girl!
Madison’s mother, Kim, is such a wonderful hostess. She had a phenomenal assortment of food and drinks for all of their guests to enjoy. She was particularly proud of these cupcakes which had a delicious surprise inside.
adly, I discovered the hard way that Mrs. Bailey isn’t as nearly as pleasant when you tell her politely: “No, I don’t want a second cupcake, Thank You.”
This was the first opportunity that I’ve had to see Chad Hornbuckle since he received a kidney transplant a couple of years ago. His father, Dick, who is standing behind him was generous enough to be the organ donor which has given Chad a new lease on life. Later in the evening, I asked Dick that if there ever was a time in the future that I needed a kidney, would he be willing to do the same thing for me. He abruptly told me “No Way!” Honestly, he seems a little stuck up to me.
Now when I woke up on Sunday, I knew something wasn’t right with my eyes. Sure I’d been dealing with blurriness and dry eyes since I had my Lasik surgery a month before, but something just seemed worse. As can be seen in the title photo of this week’s update, I took the boat out for a ride with the family. After 20 minutes on the boat, I turned it around and said I couldn’t see very well. I went home and spent 6 hours updating my website like I do every Sunday. After I was done, my left eye was red as a cherry tomato and dripping pus. When I woke up on Monday morning, it looked like someone had poked it with a needle and the scariest part was that I couldn’t see out of it at all. And it hurt. Really bad! I went straight to the eye doctor. After 3 days of near blindness in the eye and a couple more appointments, we came to the conclusion that I had what they termed as a “Recurring Erosion.” Basically, I had a big tear in my cornea which needed to heal before my vision would be restored. They believe that I must have sustained an injury to my eye a few years ago that had never healed properly. Every few months, I was having redness and soreness in that eye, but my doctor kept diagnosing it as “Pink eye”. I’d get some antibiotics which would help it get better temporarily, but the underlying problem wasn’t going away. Bottom line is that as I type this 6 days later, I have about 90-95% of the vision in that eye restored and I’m taking several different medications to try and address the underlying problem and get it to heal once and for all. I’ll be honest with you, though. I really thought I was going to have to endure some permanent damage to my vision. It was a very, very scary week!
Long time followers of will remember that I’ve featured our guardian angels, the Albino Squirrels, several times before. These creatures have been part of our lives ever since Luke and Avery were born and we had to help them endure all of their heart surgeries and other medical challenges. Whenever times would get really scary, we’d always see an albino squirrel show-up in our yard, even when we moved to another house in a different city! Well, on Wednesday of this week, I woke up really scared. The vision in my left eye hadn’t come back at all and even worse, the right eye seemed pretty blurry as well. I couldn’t even drive my car to the eye doctor having to rely on Miss Sheri to give me a ride. Well, this was also the first time since my eye problem began that I was getting to see, Dr. David Whiting, the renowned eye surgeon who originally performed my laser eye surgery. Dr. Whiting told me that it looked like my eye was healing and that I wasn’t going to have any permanent damage to it. This sounded like my prayers had been answered and my happiness level went up considerably! When I came home from the doctor, I saw an albino squirrel in my driveway. About an hour later, Miss Sheri and the boys actually saw a total of four different white squirrels in our backyard at the same time! Now I’m sure many people could mark this up as a coincidence, but we like to think of it as something more than that!
So aside from all the daddy drama, Miss Sheri and the boys also had the opportunity to enjoy their first week of summer vacation! And what did those crazy cats do for fun? Well, they painted the basement together of course! No-one can ever accuse my family of not knowing how to party!
On Wednesday night, we figured out another way to show our wild and crazy side by taking Grandma Linda to a customer appreciation night put on our by our electric company, Minnesota Valley Electric. Not only did we get free chicken dinners, but we also had the opportunity to vote for new board members to run the utility! To top things off, I also won one of the raffles giving me a free $100.00 worth of electricity! It was the perfect icing on the cake to an otherwise quiet week!

Nice Emails of the Week

Have you seen these kids from a New York elementary school in Staten Island? They have some awesome videos that have gone viral and have gotten the attention of many celebrities. Below is one of those videos. Check it out!


Crazy Chameleon

Dang Cats

The Graffiti Artist

Happy Father’s Day!!
Best Bumper of 2009!
I want to be a great artist!
Best Poster Placement Ever!
I guess I’m not that hungry…
I wonder how they feel about summer?
The Perfect Man
This will learn him!
Gay Test

Quote of the Week

“The one thing that matters is the effort.”

– Antoine de Saint-Exupery, French pilot, author

Jokes of the Week

Old **Timer Sex**

The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first

time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the

village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’

Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’

OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’

‘Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation

and, having a chuckle, he thinks to himself, ‘I’ve got to see these two

old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble.’ So he follows them.

\The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for

support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the

tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As

she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman

has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old

couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The

policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly

amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, ‘Excuse me, but that was

something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, ‘Sixty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.’

We The People Stimulus Package
The Dangers of Street Tubing

June 21, 2009


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell that takes pictures these days no one talks about seeing UFOs ike they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?