Nice Emails of the Week
Have you seen these kids from a New York elementary school in Staten Island? They have some awesome videos that have gone viral and have gotten the attention of many celebrities. Below is one of those videos. Check it out!
The Graffiti Artist
Quote of the Week
“The one thing that matters is the effort.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery, French pilot, author
Jokes of the Week
Old **Timer Sex**
The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first
time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the
village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’
Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’
‘Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation
and, having a chuckle, he thinks to himself, ‘I’ve got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble.’ So he follows them.
\The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the
tavern and make their way to the fence.
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As
she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman
has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The
policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, ‘Excuse me, but that was
something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, ‘Sixty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.’
June 21, 2009
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a cell that takes pictures these days no one talks about seeing UFOs ike they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?