We had a very difficult week in the Shortarmguy household. Miss Sheri’s father, Larry Haack, passed away on Monday due to complications after heart surgery. Here’s his obituary. We are all going to miss him very much. I was impressed with all the people who came to his visitation and funeral. He was a very popular man and many, many people told us they were going to miss seeing him because he was always smiling. Heaven is now a little brighter because Larry is up there smiling down to us.
Nice Emails of the Week
Shortarmguy…..Meet Shortarmgal!
Hey… I think I could pass for your sister so I’ll send you a pic if you want (just not in this message.. wouldn’t want you to delete this email right away b/c of an attachment). I like what you’ve done with yourself, wait no, I kind of envy it. See, I thought of doing the same thing but I think you still take the cake on the 4 finger jokes.. loved the one about the plastic surgeon.. do you do hand jobs… LMAO.
Yes, I was born this way too. Not exactly like you, but our histories are so alike that we could’ve been related, easily. My right arm is almost normal length but my hand was turned toward my body and fused to my ulna… basically, turned to angle toward my left foot and stuck so I can’t rotate at the wrist. Sure makes getting my change from the cashier a pain in the ass…. so much better to swipe a card. My left hand is also my “weird hand” being so close to my elbow, that it looks like it takes the place of it. The hand also rests on my side, somewhat locked in that position facing my body I mean. My thumb is small and tucked under my palm so it also looks like I only have 4 fingers and I use my index finger more as a thumb so ppl just assume I don’t have a thumb on that side. That arm hardly rotates at all…
Intrigued? I hope you’ll write me. I’m also curious if you have all the bones those weird long armed folks tend to; I don’t. I’m missing the radius from each arm. My birth defect (hardly seems the right word)/ syndrome/ condition… was called T.A.R. syndrome… Thrombocytopenia Absent Radii….. basically, thin blood and no radius bones. Another condition exists.. something I don’t know the name of… but mine is different from it in that I was born with thumbs on both arms and folks with that other classification of uniqueness usually do not have any thumbs. I also do not have the typical shoulders/ ball sockets…. just have arms sort of linked to my collar bone and loosely connected to my spine with the common triangle shoulder blade… but the way it “floats” when I move my arms… it’s weird.. I can’t see my back the way others did, I just know this guy at a gym, this personal trainer took a look and told me how different my shoulder structure seemed…. seemed to be barely attached to my back.
My surgeries were done when I was 10 months old and I can’t say I remember the hospitals but I do remember the feelings of being there, being freaked out by all the pain of that era and the damned docs who didn’t believe infants could feel pain…. then the relief at the god sent angel of a head nurse who overrode his decision by giving me morphine and my passing out, finally free to rest. My mom won’t speak of those times but my dad told me about it.
Get back to me and I’ll send you a pic of myself (and no it won’t be a nude one, even though I’m hot when I remember I am…. and the six pack abs, deep brown eyes, and full set of lips doesn’t hurt either ;), besides, I think our spouses might object just a bit. I’m also married, just turned 27, and have 2 girls, ages 2 and 6.
Kris
“Time is the great equalizer of all mankind!” A rich man cannot buy more, a smart man cannot invent more and a fool cannot waste more… we are all given the same allotment of time each day; 24 hours! The people who learn to use their allotment of time wisely are the ones who get the best out of life.
P.S. I loved your exploit a cripple page/ idea. I don’t have 2 million.. wish I did sometimes…. but seriously, have you ever approached any companies directly? (and with a lower offer, or is that the going rate for leasing your reputation and temporary insanity?)
Best of luck. I look forward to hearing from you..
and the bullies who teased me in 2nd grade? I couldn’t run fast to chase them so I told them I was contagious when I got pissed off enough to “flash my eyes wide at them”. I too know the power of giving “the stare”. It almost makes up for theirs. Just wish it didn’t come to that sometimes, but you get it.
Senior T-Shirts
Quote of the Week
“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”
— Joyce Brothers, Psychologist
Jokes of the Week
Ladies At The Bar
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: I’ll have a B and C.
Bartender: What is a B and C?
Brunette: Bourbon and Coke.
Redhead: And, I’ll have a G and T.
Bartender: What’s a G and T?
Redhead: Gin and tonic.
Blonde: I’ll have a 15.
Bartender: What’s a 15?
Blonde: 7 and 7.
July 19, 2009
Put your car keys beside your bed at night
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr’s office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across.
Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.
This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation.
Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep
honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain.. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around.
After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there.
This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.