Jet Skiing on the St. Croix River — Update for July 25, 2010

July 25, 2010 Jet skiing on the St. Croix River
On Tuesday, we celebrated my 40th birthday by going out for some Mexican food and taking a trip to the Mall of America. No one can say we don’t know how to party!
The reason we went to the mall was to see the brand new Kinect system for the XBOX 360. It’s basically an advanced camera system that watches your movements and then onscreen avatars mimic your actions inside the game world. I was so excited to be the controller! Although I was a bit confused that my onscreen avatar had 5 fingers on each hand and arms of the same length. I’m sure Microsoft will get that fixed in time for the system’s release!
The boys loved the new games. To quote Luke, “The Kinect kicks the Wii’s ass!” My boys are such eloquent speakers.
Here’s some thrilling video showing us in action on this revolutionary gaming system.
On Friday night, we went out for a night on the town with our old buddy, Tim Ashland. We tried to show him a good time by taking him to all the wild and crazy clubs we hang out in Prior Lake. Turns out, we don’t really know of any wild and crazy clubs in Prior Lake. Not sure if Tim will want to hang out with us again any time soon, but we had a nice time any ways!
One thing I know Tim had to love was when we took him to the karaoke bar so he could hear me sing live in front of a big crowd of people! Miss Sheri convinced me to sing Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild” because the last two times I was at this bar, I sang rap songs. They didn’t go over very well.
On Saturday, we connected with some of our favorite people on the planet, the Zitzewitz Family! They took us to the St. Croix River for a fun filled day full of activities on the water.
Karl has a real neat jet ski and he gave each of the kids rides on it. I wanted to ride with him as well, but he seemed a little creeped out by the prospect of me sitting behind him in nothing but a wet swimming suit and holding on to his hips. So he made me drive it all by myself.
It was fun for the kids to be drug around on a tube behind the jet ski.
Aaron’s idea of a good time is to toss his sister off the tube while they’re going really fast. He dances and dances around until she’s finally able to swim her way back to it. Then the process is repeated.
Karl told me that he has Tina ride this way so she can keep a close eye on the kids. After awhile though, I got the impression that she just really liked riding the thing backwards.
Our jet ski time was suddenly cut short shortly after this photo was taken. I was snapping pictures of Karl and he wanted to do his Waterworld impression of submerging the jetski completely underwater and then popping back up to the surface. Apparently the jetski had other ideas though, because the second he went under it no longer wanted to move forward any more. Apparently the gears broke and then the jet ski had to stay on the lift for the rest of the day. Sure was fun while it lasted, though!!

 Quote of the Week

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”
— Will Rogers, Humorist
Link To Last Week’s Diary Entry

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for January 6, 2013

Playoffs 2013

Good News For Grandma

Shark Eating Shark

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 30, 2012

Christmas Funnies 2012

Stacking Wood

Still The Light, By Cameo Smith (Mt. Wolf, PA)

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious,
their laughter filled the air…
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
Remembering nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is Heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

In that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew to the arms of their King
As they lingered in the warmth of His blessed embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
When He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 16, 2012

Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas,
Dear Timmy, Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.* Merry Christmas,* Santa Claus*** * *
Mr. Claus, Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones * *
Mr. Jones, While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days. Very Truly Yours, S Claus * *
Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone * *
Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy * *
Dear Santa, Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything. Timmy * *
> Timmy, > > That’s what I thought you little bastard. > Santa

Not Afraid of Heights

Snow Quilts

Artist Simon Beck must really love the cold weather!
Along the frozen lakes of Savoie, France, he spends days plodding through the snow in raquettes (snowshoes), creating these sensational patterns of snow art.
Working for 5-9 hours a day, each final piece is typically the size of three soccer fields!
The geometric forms range in mathematical patterns and shapes that create stunning, sometimes 3D, designs when viewed from higher levels.
How long these magnificent geometric forms survive is completely dependent on the weather. Beck designs and redesigns the patterns as new snow falls, sometimes unable to finish a piece due to significant overnight accumulations.
The main reason for making them was because I can no longer run properly due to problems with my feet, so plodding about on level snow is the least painful way of getting exercise. Gradually, the reason has become photographing them, and I am considering buying a better camera. – Simon Beck