Linda Louise Miller

Mother of Shortarmguy. Strongly believed to be influenced by forces from another dimension. Her blood-type indicates that she is probably extraterrestrial in origin. Although she shows nothing but affection towards her offspring and has displayed an amazing mothering ability, she still needs to be considered an enemy. The reason for this is because she harbors a strange tendency to obsess over shortarmguy’s short arm. Has made several attempts to remove said arm with a kitchen knife. Apparently she believes that the arm is “some sort of communication device to her people and she really, really needs to talk to them.” After she makes her phone call she has nothing but hope for the destiny of shortarmguy. “I really do wish him the best! Maybe he can start a new website called or something. Also, I’ve always thought he could be president of the United States!”