Easter at the Farm 2010

Easter at the Farm Shortarmguy.com Diary Update for April 4, 2010
We drove down to the farm for Easter Weekend. Uncle Jerry wanted to do something special for us upon our arrival, so he ran over a cow with his tractor. Only you vegetarians out there have the right to call this cruel.
Grandma Leona was excited that we came to visit, until she learned that we brought Grandma Linda with us. After that, things became pretty tense.
While the two grandmas duked it out in the driveway, the rest of us went to play on the swingset.
One of these days, we’ll figure out these fancy schmancy swing things!
It was a bit windy on the farm. Grandma Linda always makes sure her hood is on extra tight when this happens. Miss Sheri wanted to make her feel at home, so she did the same. Personally, I didn’t think it was that windy so I just made fun of them instead.
The boys were excited to do some egg coloring. I told them this year we were going to do something special and color some bacon as well, but for some reason no-one wanted to participate in that activity.
We had the opportunity to go visit Miss Sheri’s Aunt Marian on Saturday. I’m not sure that she was as excited to see us as we were to see her.
We made it to the sunrise service at church on Easter Morning. We tried to explain to the boys that they needed to enter the church and be silent, but for some reason that explanation never seems to work.
It’s great hiding Easter Baskets on the farm. When we’re at home, we don’t have nearly as much manure to work with.
Sunny was feeling bad that he didn’t get to participate in the Easter festivities, so he contributed a special chocolate egg for the occasion. Sadly, there was no candy coating to be found.

Quote of the Week

“The secret of success in life is for a person to be ready for opportunity when it comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Nice Email of the Week

One of my co-workers, Rob Bauer, asked me to spread the word for this special fundraiser happening on April 17th:

Addison Hutchinson

Addison was born on May 4th, 2009. She was six pounds ten

ounces and she is now ten months old and averages around eleven

pounds; she was born premature. After several months at

Rochester Mayo Clinic and Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis,

having many test’s performed, doctors diagnosed Addison with

‘failure to thrive.’

Addison is the daughter of Tim & Amy Hutchinson and the granddaughter

of long-time Prior Lake residents Terry & Debbie

Hutchinson and long-time Savage residents Greg & Deb Kulak

Her family & friends request your prayers and your presence

at a benefit dinner.

Savage American Legion

12375 Princeton Av So

Savage, MN

952-894-6940

Saturday, April 17tth

Spaghetti Dinner 3-8pm

$10 per person in advance

$12 at the door

10 and under $8 at the door

3 and under free

Bake Sale & Silent Auctions 3-8 pm

/Please contact Julie Hindermann at 952-440-2515 to purchase

tickets for this benefit event for you & your loved ones!

Addison has a benefit account at Wells Fargo if you would like to make a donation of money to her account make sure it goes to Addison N. Hutchinson from Prior Lake

If you would like to learn more about Addison, please visit her caring bridge website:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/addisonhutchinson

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for January 6, 2013

Playoffs 2013

Good News For Grandma

Shark Eating Shark

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 30, 2012

Christmas Funnies 2012

Stacking Wood


Still The Light, By Cameo Smith (Mt. Wolf, PA)

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious,
their laughter filled the air…
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
Remembering nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is Heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

In that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew to the arms of their King
As they lingered in the warmth of His blessed embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
When He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 16, 2012

Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas,
Dear Timmy, Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.* Merry Christmas,* Santa Claus*** * *
Mr. Claus, Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones * *
Mr. Jones, While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days. Very Truly Yours, S Claus * *
Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone * *
Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy * *
Dear Santa, Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything. Timmy * *
> Timmy, > > That’s what I thought you little bastard. > Santa

Not Afraid of Heights

Snow Quilts

Artist Simon Beck must really love the cold weather!
Along the frozen lakes of Savoie, France, he spends days plodding through the snow in raquettes (snowshoes), creating these sensational patterns of snow art.
Working for 5-9 hours a day, each final piece is typically the size of three soccer fields!
The geometric forms range in mathematical patterns and shapes that create stunning, sometimes 3D, designs when viewed from higher levels.
How long these magnificent geometric forms survive is completely dependent on the weather. Beck designs and redesigns the patterns as new snow falls, sometimes unable to finish a piece due to significant overnight accumulations.
The main reason for making them was because I can no longer run properly due to problems with my feet, so plodding about on level snow is the least painful way of getting exercise. Gradually, the reason has become photographing them, and I am considering buying a better camera. – Simon Beck