Dan Patch Days

Diary Entry For June 29, 2008

On Sunday, the Shortarmguy Family went to see the annual Dan Patch Days Parade in downtown Savage, Minnesota.  The boys had been preparing their candy grabbing skills for weeks to prepare for this big event!!

The parade lasted about an hour and a half and featured all sorts of different floats and interesting characters going by.  One of my favorites was this group of dudes speeding by in these little cars.  They were zigging and zagging and doing spin-outs to the delight of the crowd.  I thought for certain they were going to crash because of the risks they were taking, but they must have really known what they were doing because everything worked out just fine.  Thank goodness!

Of course, one of the main attractions is our old friend, Rob Bauer.  Rob is a co-worker at Nor-Tech and every year he’s in the parade walking with his snowmobile club.  Rob is lucky to still be able to come to the event because he has a tendency to pelt little kids in the head with the candy he throws.  He says it’s just an accident when it happens but after 7 or 8 times you begin to wonder.

Luke and Avery are magnets for politicians who insist on covering their bodies with stickers.  The stickers last just about as long as their promises!

On Tuesday, Luke was wondering around our yard when he discovered this baby bat which looked like it had fallen out of one of our trees.  I had never seen a baby bat before and it was a little bit creepy.  Much to Luke’s chagrin, I made him set it free rather than keep it as he desired.  When he returned later to check on it, the little bat was gone.  Hopefully he’ll grow to be a big bat and eat all the dang mosquitoes in my backyard.

Our neighbor, Paul, stopped over while we were looking at the bat.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him, but it looks like that growth on his back is getting bigger.  Very sad.

Sunny is really enjoying having Miss Sheri and the boys home for the summer because he gets to go to the dog park much more than when they’re all at school.  As you can tell from this photo, he’s pretty fond of the dog park.  Either that or he’s trying to taste his ear.

Our old friends, the Schoens, stopped by Thursday night for a visit.  It was a nice time because we hadn’t seen them for awhile.  Lucky that Luke and Avery still had plenty of candy left over from the parade.  It gave them the appropriate amount of sugar to allow them to perform like dancing monkeys pretty much the entire time they were at our house.

We’ve had a very exciting summer at Nor-Tech.  This week, I personally sold my first Portable Cluster.  This bad boy features 106 Compute Cores, 208 GB of memory, 4 Terabytes of storage capacity, and is completely portable!  The customer who received it was quite excited!!  If you’d like to learn more about Nor-Tech’s Portable Clusters, you can see them at our website here:  PortableClusters.com

On Thursday, Eric and Jaisson from Microsoft came to Nor-Tech to host a Server 2008 Hands-On Lab for our reseller customers.  They taught them all sorts of neat things about their latest and greatest server operating system.  Afterwards, Nick, Jay, and I joined them for dinner at Kincaids.   Our discussion was highlighted by a variety of sordid tales that can’t be mentioned here because this is a family website.  I did learn a lot that night, though!

On Friday, we decided to tackle the high price of gasoline by trading in Miss Sheri’s old gas guzzling van for a brand new Saturn Aura.  Our old buddy, Dermott, hooked us up once again with a Screaming Deal!  This is the 5th car I’ve now bought from Dermott in the past 12 years.  Some of my friends think I’m stupid because I continue to buy cars from the same guy.  I like to stick with Dermott, though, because he’s always taken such good care of me.  I mean how do you beat $75,000.00 for a new Saturn?

What an amazing cel phone!

Best Help Wanted Ad Ever!

This will make you excited to hold your cel phone to your ear!

Baby Bush

Looks comfortable!

Best Slippers Ever!

Guess What Nationality?

Give up?


Okay, take a look… 

Moments Frozen in Time

Quote of the Week

“In the long run men hit only what they aim at.”

– Henry David Thoreau, philosopher

Joke of the Week

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.”

He stormed out to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied, “The f***in’ funeral director would be my first guess.”


Nice Emails of The Week

My Miami Ink episode appeared again this week, so I had quite a few nice emails!  Here’s excerpts from some of them….

hey there, i just watched the episode of you on Miami Ink and i just wanted to say that i love your attitude.  for some people your situation could be so hard to live your life but you took that and turned it around and i think you are an inspiration to the world.  i loved the story about you on the play ground and your explanation that God ran out of clay. it was beautiful. i just want to say that you touched me in a way and i need to wake up and have the kind of attitude and enjoyment about life like you have. you are awesome. thanks for letting me share that with you.


We saw you on Miami Ink. It was a blast being able to see someone with arms like my son. I love your website. I can’t wait to explore it more. Good luck to you.


Hey.  My boyfriend and I just saw you on the tattoo show.  Your tattoo looked great!!!!!  Just wanted to let you know.  Do you have any pictures on your site.  I didn’t see any!  Anyways it looks AWESOME!!!!  Have a great weekend!


I just saw you on Miami Ink and then started clicking around on your website.   I just wanted to tell you that your outlook on life is amazing. I’ve been going through a rough patch in my life recently and you really brought a smile to my face. Keep doing what you do man.


I caught Miami Ink last night for the first time, and saw you getting your awesome tattoo! Boy, there is really something amazing about seeing people get tattoos that the people are completely ready to receive. The colors and the way the hand is stretching out just seemed absolutely perfect- as if you had always had it, right?

I really enjoy your refreshing attitude and your sense of humor, and visited your Shortarmguy site today. Big fun. It seems like you have a lovely family, too.

That’s all- just wanted to drop you a line to say thanks for being you.

Take care,


Hi there!
I saw you on the episode of Miami Ink.  Your attitude and outlook towards life is absolutely amazing.  (Not to mention the amazing tattoo!)  I heard you telling the story about the soldiers in kuwait and Iraq who are fighting wars for us and enjoy your page.  My boyfriend is one of those soldiers.  He has been in Iraq since September and is fortunate enough to be coming home this summer.  You’re entire outlook on life inspired me, so Thank you for that!

Dear Short arm guy:

I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.  I have never heard of you until you were on Miami Ink last night and you had me in stitches for the short time you were on TV.  I am now hooked onto your website and I think it’s so great that you can be open and ok with who you are.  I wish I could be the same way as I’m severely over weight. 

 I think your tattoo was awesome and I love it.  Thank you for your website and for all the laughs you share.



Hey man,

 I seen the A& E tattoo show last night and thought you were the coolest dude ever. If you have time you have to email my girlfriend, she loves you. Keep it up man, you ROCK!!!



From a mom with a little guy who has different limbs:

I saw you on Miami Ink (great tattoo by the way!) and it made my heart sing because, I felt like you were representing my son and other children like him.  I just want to thank you for that. I think you are amazing….not because you have a limb difference but, because of the man that you are.

Hey ShortArmGuy,

 My name is Daniel and I live in Phoenix Arizona.  I am writing because I just saw you on Miami Ink.  I used to have an arm just like you on my left side, it was a radial club hand.  Then I broke it and it had to be removed, bummer but my sense of humor is still intact.  My wife remarked how we both seem to have a twisted sense of humor about our bodies.  I say that’s the way to be, if you can’t laugh about yourself then quit dude.  Love your site.  I’ll be checking it out often so keep up the good work, keep laughing and God bless.


Hi Todd.

I just saw you get your tattoo on Miami Ink.  I just wanted to write 
to say that you filled my heart with a lot of hope tonight.  My 
daughter, now 14 months old, was born with the same arm anomalies you 
were born with ~ the radial club arm with 4 fingers and the hypo-
plastic thumb on the other hand.  I have never seen anyone, other 
than my daughter, with these anomalies and when I saw you on the tv I 
screamed for my husband to come and see.    I’ve been so worried 
about her, what her future will be like, the surgeries she will have, 
her struggles, and tonight you showed me that she can have a 
beautiful life and do whatever she wants to do.  Not that I didn’t 
already know that, it was just nice to see someone else who survived 
the long and SHORT of it.  So, I guess, thanks.  Thanks for being

I saw you on Miami Ink and immediately checked out your site.  You are such an inspiration and a wonderful role model!  I have 7 year old twin boys;  one was born perfectly normal, while the other has had serious health problems since birth, including a severe case of bi-lateral club foot.  I can’t wait for him to get up in the morning to see your site (I considered waking him up, but it is after 1am here).  He will be so happy to see you and hear your story.  He frequently asks me why God made him different.  I always tell him that God had a plan when he made him the way he did, and some day he will figure out what the plan was.  He will be so excited to hear you say the God just ran out of clay.  It has been a long time since my son has been truly happy (he has been extremely sick lately) and I know you will bring a smile to his face.  God bless you and your family and keep up the wonderful work with what you are doing

hi short arm guy

i am morgan fernandez

i was watching miami ink and i saw the episode you were in

i love the tattoo you got i was thinking of getting one just like that because you truly inspired me and i too am a fellow short arm citizen and we must all unite and stick together as a group.

i think it was with your prayers and acknowledgements

thank you very much i love you 

and my parents thank you too

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, it would mean so much to me and my family if you would kindly reply to this email message.

yours truly,



HEY! I just wanted to send you an email to say… thanks… thanks for being such a cool guy and an inspiration to others. My fiance and I are sitting on the couch right now watching Miami Ink and we saw your episode. You have such a fantastic outlook on life, never loose that. Good luck in everything you do!


MaryBess and Jason

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites

June 29, 2008

                                                                                         Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

  Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo

Rest in Peace, George Carlin!

Greatest Movie Ever! 

Bring It On

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com

June 29, 2008


This was sent to me by one of my friends who lives in Iowa.  Although it’s sure to be a controversial story, it definitely made me think.

About the Flooding in Iowa:

The self reliance shown by people of the mid-west stands so far apart from the people in New Orleans that were in the same situation.

Also, there was/is zero looting. I have pretty much given up hope for the ‘victims’ of that type of culture.  Welfare has reduced them to what they are today. Sad, very, very sad…
 Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods?
 Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn’t solved the problem?  Asking where the FEMA trucks (and trailers) are?

 Why isn’t the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago?
 When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines?
 Where are Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks?
 Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big  screen television sets?
 When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a ‘vanilla’ Iowa, because that’s the way God wants it?
 Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of cannibalism?
 Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people?
 How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?

I was just wondering.