We let Luke and Avery open their Christmas presents to each other a little early. They were nice enough to buy each other these pleasant little automatic weapons. I remember when kid’s guns were tiny things. I also remember when the Nerf Company only made junky soft footballs. Now my boys have the ability to shoot 30 nerf bullets a minute directly into the eyes of their brother. Is there a better way to say Merry Christmas?
On Monday night, we had our Christmas Pack meeting. So naturally the den had to wrap me up like a big present. I try to tell Miss Sheri that this should appear very accurate to her since God gave her the Gift of Me long ago. She mumbled something about asking God for a refund, but I didn’t ask her for clarification.
On Wednesday night, several of the Nor-Tech gang and myself joined our old Microsoft buddy Eric for a fantastic dinner at Bonfire in Savage, Minnesota. While working on my site, I noticed that my good friend, Jay, didn’t appear in this photo. Some how, I’m completely blocking him. Since I know it will make him sad to not be on my website this week, I found this picture of Jay taken at the boy’s birthday party last summer:
Boy, am I glad to have that issue resolved!
Luke and Avery were so excited to make these fantastic gingerbread houses at school this year. I didn’t know why until they proceeded to smash their heads into them and bust them them up into little pieces. Now that’s a new Christmas tradition I haven’t heard of before!
On Saturday, we headed to Mystic Lake Casino. It was about 10 below and snowing pretty good. That didn’t stop me from having Miss Sheri stop the van so we could get this awesome photo in front of the casino’s entrance. Sure, it was cold and snowing and they had to walk through deep snow to get to this location for the shot, but I still don’t understand why they weren’t happy with me. I think it turned out great!
They were much happier after we were inside in the warm building, eating the buffet, and enjoying a round of sweet, sweet chocolate milk!
Mmmmm, chocolate milk!
The reason we went to the casino was to see Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy. Direct from Broadway, the show is an exotic encounter inspired by nature’s unpredictable creations that are brought to life by an international cast of 25 soaring aerialists, spine-bending contortionists, acrobats, jugglers and musicians. Or another way to put it, it’s a bunch of guys in tights prancing around the stage and doing fancy tricks to impress their theater buddies.
We enjoyed the show, even if it did get a little bit long. The boys were ready to go even before the intermission started. I guess there’s only so much one can take of watching dudes spinning around in the air before going home and playing video games starts to sound really good.
They had some silly signs hanging up that said “No photography” so I wasn’t able to get too many shots of the show because I worried about some usher coming up and confiscating my camera. I did snap a little bit of video to share with my good friends on Shortarmguy.com though. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t get to share at least some of the experience with all of my good friends who come to my site! So here you go. Enjoy!
Merry Christmas, Every One!
Nice Emails of the Week
No real advice. Just wanted to say I love what you are doing. I don’t have a disability such as this, but I would recommend this site to anyone with a disability. You could have gone a different route and lived a resentful life full of self pity, but instead chose to embrace your disability and focus on everything that is good in your life. I think this is something everyone can learn from and have a good chuckle with also.
J. Kevin Robinson
Hi, Todd. Just wanted to wish all your visitors a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from my bowel! Make sure you get the word out on how important it is to get your colonoscopy scheduled in the New Year. Colon health is extremely important. Scan 1 is Active Colitis. Scan 2 is a Healthy Bunghole. Jason Davis
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The Ultimate Water Slide
Helicopter Training
Copy Machine Dangers
Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com
New Obama Tshirts
New cars now that the government is running the car companies…
The Coolest Kleenex Boxes
eHarmony Rejection
African Laxative
Christmas Funnies
Santa will have a tough time in Iowa this year…
Click Here for the Shortarmguy.com Christmas Funnies Page
Quote of the Week
“We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end to them.”
– Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman philosopher
Joke of the Week
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, ‘No; I’d like to see something more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring out. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000’ the jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. ‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about my weekend!’
All Seniors Aren’t Senile
Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites
December 21, 2008
Spider — Play with a Spider!
Justin Timberlake Hosts SNL in 2 minutes!
Beyonce — Single Ladies
Cubby — Single Ladies
Put your hands up for Detroit!
Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think
Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com
December 21, 2008
My present advice: Life is short, eat dessert first.
lf for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ……… I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)