June 20, 2010
Canoe Trip on the Namekagon River
On Friday night, we joined Boy Scout Troop 331 for an incredible weekend of camping and canoeing on the Namekagon River in Wisconsin!
Our old buddies, Karl and Aaron, talked us into joining them for the adventure. I think secretly they like watching us endure pain.
We went more than 15 miles on Saturday and about 5 miles on Sunday. Before we went, they told me it was really easy to do because the current of the river would carry us the whole way. Well, I gotta tell you. My little arms did an awful lot of paddling during these two days. So if that’s an easy trip, I’d never in my life attempt to do a hard one!
This picture was taken very early in the trip. You can tell because they’re both still smiling in it. By about mile number two, any time they’d get near each other, the oars would instantly start swinging at each other’s heads. I kept trying to tell them to use that energy on the river, but they just wouldn’t listen.
Karl had a very interesting technique for rowing. Every 5 minutes or so, he’d spin the oar wildly above his head ten or twelve times, then pound the canoe in front of him, and then slide it into the water finishing with a quick yank backwards. I have no idea how it worked, but he stayed ahead of us on the river for most of the weekend.
We canoed for a total of about 8 hours over the two day period and this was my view about 60% of the time.
This was my view the other 40% of the time.
If you want the translation of Avery’s look here it is as follows:
“Dad, quit taking pictures and help me row the damn boat!”
I know this look seems very similar to the other photo, but it has a slightly different translation. This one reads:
“Dad, quit taking pictures and help us put up the damn tents!”
The camping involved “Roughing it” more than we’ve ever done in our lives. We had to eat every meal from the same plates and had no running water to wash them! I really liked the mustard, mayonnaise, peanut butter and jelly we had for lunch, but when it was later mixed with the chicken alfredo fettuccini we had for supper, it didn’t taste nearly as good.
No running water also means no plumbing. Thus we had to go potty in the woods. There wasn’t even a place to go number two except a big cone with a seat on it that just led to a hole in the ground. That might have not been so bad, but it appeared that the object for most people was to pee all over the seat and cone. There was even some stuff on there that I wouldn’t even want to try to identify. Miss Sheri really seemed to enjoy these arrangements, but I did my best just to hold it for the entire weekend. I was about 90% successful.
Sleeping was also pretty tough because everything we brought had to be carried with us on the canoes. Since this was our first canoe/camping trip, we decided to err on the side of caution and pack as light as possible. This meant no sleeping pads or air mattresses or anything like that. Just a light sleeping bag, the nylon tent, and whatever rocks, sticks, and pinecones wanted to work their way into my back. All that and Luke still slept fine. Except when I’d wake him up every ten minutes or so in a panic and go “What was that?”
The best part of the weekend was all the ticks we found on our bodies and in our clothes. I had one stuck to my belly and Luke found a few running around his body as well. But that was nothing compared to Miss Sheri. She found a tick in her pants. Later, I found one on her forehead. Then when we got home, she found one on her belly that she asked me to remove. Naturally, I told her to relax and proceeded to do something else for a couple of minutes. Well, when I was ready to go at the thing with a pair of tweezers, we discovered that it had dug deeper into her skin and now I had no chance to pull it out. So now she’s at Urgent Care as I type this and the doctor had to cut it out with a knife. She’ll also be starting taking antibiotics for the next week or so as a precaution against her potentially getting Lyme’s Disease. I’m guessing that the next time my wife has a tick anywhere with 20 feet of her, I’ll be expected to drop everything and run over there with a flamethrower to take care of the thing. Either that or I’d really better get used to sleeping on the ground outside.
Since we had a lot of free time on Saturday night, the boys found fun ways to keep themselves entertained.
Luke was very excited to climb out on the tree to join the other boys, but his sense of balance is not the best, so he wasn’t ready to climb back by himself. Since he’s got such a great mom, naturally she went out there to help him get back to safety. The second time he did it, she still was happy to help him. The third time he did it, I could tell she wasn’t as thrilled to go out there and help him. But the fourth time he did it, I sensed she was getting just a little bit frustrated with the boy.
One of the best parts of the trip was getting to meet our new friend, Paul. He’s a great guy and we had a lot of good laughs together. We even said some swear words to each other that you really aren’t supposed to use at Boy Scout camp, but luckily no-one else heard us!
This is the Bear Man. I didn’t get the guy’s name, but I’ll call him that because he helped prove to everyone else that I’m not a crazy person. Here’s my story. So they told us not to keep food in our tents because there’s bears in them thar woods. Well, on Saturday night, I woke up at about 2am because it was cold and I wasn’t zipped into my sleeping bag. I sat up, struggled with the zipper for awhile, and then finally got it done. Because it took me a minute, I was wide awake and laid back down and tried to fall back asleep. After a few minutes, I suddenly heard a loud sniff about two feet away from my head. My first thought went to thinking about the food that was in my bag. The second thought was to yell at Miss Sheri in the next tent over and ask her to check things out for me. But instead, I laid there and wondered if it was my imagination. Nope. I heard several more sniffs, then a large grunt, then I heard something distinctly walk away in the sticks and leaves around my tent. I stayed up for about 15 minutes wondering what the heck it was until I finally saw somebody walk by my tent with a flashlight. Since they didn’t appear to see anything, I dismissed what happened and fell back to sleep. Well, I told several people my story the next morning and everyone had a different theory from squirrels to raccoons to possibly a bear. I didn’t see anything messed up around camp, so I assumed at worst it was a raccoon. That was until I told the guy in this picture. He said “Nope, it was a bear. I smelled him come near my tent and then I sat up and saw him. He stayed in our camp only 3 or 4 minutes before running off.” He then told me that it looked to be about 150 pounds. And he was only two feet away from my head sniffing my cashew covered granola bars. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think that by surviving an incident like that, it makes me the bravest man who ever lived. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!
Quote of the Week
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” — Jack London, Author Link To Last Week’s Diary Entry
June 13, 2010
Second City at Mystic Lake Casino
Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for January 6, 2013
Playoffs 2013
Good News For Grandma
Shark Eating Shark
Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 30, 2012
Christmas Funnies 2012
Stacking Wood
Still The Light, By Cameo Smith (Mt. Wolf, PA)
Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious,
their laughter filled the air…
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
Remembering nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is Heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
In that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew to the arms of their King
As they lingered in the warmth of His blessed embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
When He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”
Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”
Shortarmguy's Crazy Emails for December 16, 2012
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.*
Merry Christmas,*
Santa Claus***
* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract,
set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to
granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this
joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at
my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit
trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
* *
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria,
need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it
a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action,
well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been
on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be
more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I
alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social
skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the
bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was
attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends
into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys
and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console,
my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
* *
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on
one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees
you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar,
genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your
shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people
that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll
all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you
asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in
you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
* *
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
Timmy
* *
> Timmy,
>
> That’s what I thought you little bastard.
> Santa
Not Afraid of Heights
Snow Quilts
Artist Simon Beck must really love the cold weather!
Along the frozen lakes of Savoie, France, he spends days plodding through the snow in raquettes (snowshoes), creating these sensational patterns of snow art.
Working for 5-9 hours a day, each final piece is typically the size of three soccer fields!
The geometric forms range in mathematical patterns and shapes that create stunning, sometimes 3D, designs when viewed from higher levels.
How long these magnificent geometric forms survive is completely dependent on the weather. Beck designs and redesigns the patterns as new snow falls, sometimes unable to finish a piece due to significant overnight accumulations.
The main reason for making them was because I can no longer run properly due to problems with my feet, so plodding about on level snow is the least painful way of getting exercise. Gradually, the reason has become photographing them, and I am considering buying a better camera. – Simon Beck
