A Day Spent At The St. Croix Rover

Diary Entry For August 30, 2009 Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com
On Thursday night, Miss Sheri went out with a friend so it was boy’s night out. And what better way to get wild and crazy than to hit a park with all sorts of wood and tires to climb around upon???
Luke and Avery grew bored with the wood and tires pretty quickly, so I told them to go play on the train tracks instead. They thought that was a good idea until I kept yelling to them that a train was coming. Silly boys are so gullible.
On Saturday, we went to the St. Croix River with our good friends, Karl and Tina. Karl grew up on the river so he was able to show us all sorts of ways to have a good time even in lousy weather!
Because the hill is so steep and the ground is so soft, we had to ride these lifts back and forth to the beach. The kids thought this was just as much fun as any of the actual activities at the water.
I kept wondering what would happen if the cable would break. It seemed to me that it would be just like a roller coaster and normally we have to pay to go to places with roller coasters. But, no matter how hard I pleaded, Karl wouldn’t let me cut the cable.
We had a great time on the boats and on the beach, but man was it cold! Mother Nature just has not been smiling warmly on Minnesota this year!
Even though it was darn cold in the air, the kids couldn’t wait to jump in the river and go swimming. I considered joining them, but the shrinkage factor was just way too high for me!
Karl’s mom was concerned about the kids climbing on the rocks without their shoes. Normally I’m the one worrying about all the possible ways for the children to hurt themselves, so we found this to be a real bonding experience. Luckily, no one ended up with any bloody feet. All in all, the kids had a great day at the river!!
Karl proved to be the grand champion at Ladder Ball. He went through the entire day undefeated!! That guy really knows how to handle his balls!


I really enjoy your web site and it is part of my weekly routine. I normally visit it on Monday mornings and it is a good way to begin my week. I’ve grew up in the Midwest (Iowa) and can readily identify with your lifestyle and attitudes. Rather than graduating from the University of No Intelligence, I am a product of the Hawkeyes. I am currently stationed overseas so reading your postings really makes me feel like I have a connection with home.

As a retired Army officer working as a civilian for the Department of the Army, I read interest this week’s story about the dog named, “Tank” with an informed eye. This story is circulating all over the web and I assume someone sent it to you. I wonder why do people think they have to make up shit like this? What posses them to create such an unfounded lie? I mean, it is a good story and allows us to appreciate our Soldiers who serve, but it is untrue. The whole premise sounds implausible to begin with. In today’s op-tempo (operations tempo, the pace with which Soldiers train and deploy), what single soldier could really have and care for a dog? Even when he was at home station, the dog would sit alone for days if not weeks at an end while his master was training. Then the connection with the colonel delivering the letter for the Soldier sounds far-fetched too. Most Soldiers don’t have that sort of connection or access to a colonel and would more likely rely on an NCO or officer in his immediate command to perform a personal favor like sending a letter. Finally, I checked the roster of all recipients of the Silver Star awarded in OIF (Operation Iraqi Freedom) and OEF (Operation Enduring Freedom) and there is no Paul Mallory. A good story but pure invention.

Please don’t take this as a criticism – it isn’t intended as such. I think you do great work and keep it up. The web is jam-packed with bogus half truths and urban legends. Mostly harmless but still this story presents someone claiming an honor, the Silver Star, never earned.

If our paths ever cross, I’d be happy to share a beer (or two) with you.

Best Regards,

Name Withheld By Request

Hey Todd,

I’ve been going to your site for a few years now and I think its awesome. I kind of feel like a creepy stalker considering I see your family’s weekly highlights every Monday morning and you have no idea who I am. With the exception of my girlfriend wanting to adopt your dog Sunny, I would say you guys are safe.

Your family and friends seem like they’re a great bunch.

Anyways, I got this email and I thought that it would be perfect for you site (I am for Favre over Jackson, but the video is still hilarious).

Best regards,


The Rapping Flight Attendant

Ever Seen Baseball Players Do This?

Ultimate Camo Clothing

Someone doesn’t want to share their internet connection!
Sometime climbing the ladder of life has challenges!
I’m still trying to figure out what’s happening here…

Quote of the Week

“I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity.”

– John D. Rockefeller, industrialist

Jokes of the Week

20 things to do in a bathroom stall

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”

5. Drop a marble and say, “oh shoot!! My glass eye!!”

6. Say “Darn, this water is cold.”

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”

9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!!”

11. Say, “Interesting….more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?”

13. Say. “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!”

14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”

15. Say, “Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free”

20. When you’re in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say “You got any more toilet paper over there, This side’s completely out.”

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com


August 30, 2009

Just Five More Minutes
by: Author Unknown

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground.

“That’s my son over there,” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

“He’s a fine looking boy” the man said. “That’s my daughter on the bike in the white dress.”

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. “What do you say we go, Melissa?”

Melissa pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.”

The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart’s content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. “Time to go now?”

Again Melissa pleaded, “Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.”

The man smiled and said, “OK.”

“My, you certainly are a patient father,” the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, “Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa.

She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch her play.”

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?

Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today!

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made….

How many other things are we missing?