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Diary Entry For September 21, 2008
It was a bit of an uncomfortable week in Shortarmguy Land. Due to some medical issues I was experiencing down under, my doctor suggested I go in to experience the thrill of my first colonoscopy. What a nice treat! I was told to starve myself by not eating anything for thirty six hours. Next, I was supposed to force myself to consume over two hundred ounces of water, Gatorade, and tasty laxatives. Finally, I had to expel that same two hundred ounces of liquid joy a short time later. Then, as a reward for my sacrifices, I got to have a strange man explore my body like it was my first night in prison. What fun!! Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I highly recommend it to all of you to make sure all my good friends are maintaining healthy colons. My only complaint is that the doctor wouldn't allow me to get a picture taken during the actual procedure. He allowed the nurse to take this picture shortly before he had his way with me. Silly Butt Doctor!
On Friday night, we had a lame time at home. We did play a quick little husband/wife ping pong tournament, which I'm happy to say I won. Don't let her cute little smile fool you, folks. She's a wicked ping-pong player.
On Saturday, we had the times of our lives at The Minnesota Renaissance Festival in Shakopee, Minnesota! Right after we arrived, this nice gentleman met us at the gate. I thought he looked very much like the guy who performed my colonoscopy which made me quite nervous to turn my back on him to get this picture. Lucky for me, nothing happened.
A good friend of mine told me that he doesn't like to go to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival because it's just a bunch of "Theater Rejects" walking around. I guess I just don't agree with him. I think a lot of these people probably do very well in their respective theater programs.
We went for a walk through the woods to try to find what was being billed as the "secret garden". Along our journey, we came across this friendly man who invited Luke and Avery to sit next to him on his Magic Rock. I told them that it wasn't a magic rock unless it made their butts sparkle. It didn't. Silly Plant Man!
Miss Sheri decided she had enough fun being around us for one day and decided to lay down in this hammock while I took the boys around the festival. This was the last time I've seen her. As far as I know she's still there as I write this.
We enjoyed watching the various entertainers. This group mixed fire breathing and belly dancing which at first I thought sounded like a nice combination indeed.
This guy was an amazing fire breather! I think it's very cool when someone fills their mouth full of a highly flammable liquid and then spits it out on an open flame. He blew us away with tricks like this, but when he started belly dancing I pretty much lost all interest in the show.
I took some videos at the show that I thought you might enjoy seeing.
All in all, we had a pretty darned good time at the Minnesota Renaissance!
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Shortarmguy appeared on the TLC Reality Show Miami Ink! Watch the episode here and read about my trip to Miami! 2. Prior Lake American Article Other Articles about Shortarmguy Luke and Avery's First Day at School
Shortarmguy Comedy Videos Best of Shortarmguy Comedy Video Shortarmguy Wins Round One Of Twin Cities Funniest Person Competition 7/27/04 Shortarmguy Fights For Your Right To Party!
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Click on the Pictures to View! Shortarmguy's Favorite Videos for September 21, 2008 Young Engineers Snowmobile Racing Might Not Be Your Thing! Truck Surfing Might Not Be Your Thing
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Guessing The Marriage is Going to Have a Tough Time
We're definitely going to get change in this election!
Obama's Inbox
New Demotivators
Quote of the Week
'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. ---Author Unknown
Jokes of the Week A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.'
He calls the number, and the
bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
'What's the shotgun for?’ asks
the homeowner. Dear Boss, I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about. I will also continue to spend your money as fast as I can without regard to merit or need. Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position. During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job. Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this. Sincerely, Every Senator or Congressman running for President!!!!!
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Shortarmguy's Favorite Websites September 21, 2008 Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder, has been closely watching the industry's transformation from standard desktop technology into all sorts of unique form factors that emphasize smaller sizes and better mobility. "It's great to see Acer entering this market, because historically they've had high quality products at very aggressive price points, which should help this market segment grow even larger," said Swank.
Acer Execs Trumpet
Virtues Of Mobility, CRN, September 19, 2008
That's What She Said
Drunk, Sleeping Fan Victimized by Beer Cups at Shea Stadium
I'm a PC
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Shortarmguy's Emails To Make You Think Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com September 21, 2008 The attached video is of dolphins playing with silver colored rings which they have the ability to make under water to play with. It isn't known how they learn this, or if it's an inbred ability.
As if by magic the dolphin does a quick flip of its head and a silver ring appears in front of its pointed beak. The ring is a solid, donut shaped bubble about 2-ft across, yet it doesn't rise to the surface of the water!
It stands upright in the water
like a magic doorway to an unseen dimension. The dolphin then
pulls a small silver donut
from the larger one. Looking at the twisting ring for one last time a
bite is taken from it, causing the small ring to collapse into a thousands
of tiny bubbles which head upward towards the water's surface. After a
few moments the dolphin creates another ring to play with. There also
seems to be a separate mechanism for producing small rings, which a
dolphin can accomplish by a quick flip of its head.
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