Spring Thaw --- Shortarmguy.com Update for March 29, 2009

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Diary Entry For March 29, 2009

Spring Time is in the air in Minnesota! The temperature has finally been spending significant time above the magic mark of 32 degrees allowing us to finally start having access to the lake again! Sure, it's only a few feet of open water, but By Golly we'll take it!

Sunny was having so much fun chasing rocks in the icy water that he almost didn't notice the two ducks that swooped down and landed nearby us. Naturally, I had to point them out.

Sunny is way too slow to catch a duck, but it sure is fun watching him try. Some day, we'll be in big trouble if he actually figures out how to do it! I guess there will be duck soup for the whole Shortarmguy Family!

On Friday night, some co-workers and I decided to connect with our old friend B-Rad Nelson. I can't remember what Sean and I were discussing with him at this moment, but I'm pretty sure we were pondering the ethical and scientific implications of the globalization of clinical research. Sean really likes to push Brad's buttons on this topic.

At 6PM, we took a break from all of our philosophical debates and decided to watch some NCAA basketball instead. Steve Cuddihy runs a fine Office Pool so we wanted to see who was gonna win, gonna win. It turns out that I'm still in the running to win the whole shooting match! As of this writing, I need Michigan State to upset Louisville later today and then have North Carolina beat Connecticut in the final game so I can take home all the marbles! I just love marbles!

My old foosball rival, Rob Bauer, and I decided to whirl the sticks. He struck the first blow by whooping me by a score of 5 to 1. Although my ego was bruised a bit, I was able to strike back with a 5 - 0 whooping of my own. Our championship match turned out to be an epic battle which came down to a tie score of 4 - 4. I'm happy to say, the little arm came through again and allowed me to prevail. Although Rob's glare reminded me that I may have won this battle, but the Foosball War Has Just Begun!!!

Steve and Melissa Cuddihy were ready for a fun night celebrating their anniversary! I felt really bad for Melissa because she still seems to be nursing that sore throat of hers. Every time I turned around, there she was asking me to check it. I'm hoping she feels better soon.

On Saturday morning, Luke had Play Practice so Miss Sheri, Avery, and I decided to spend some time at the mall. When I saw this photo opportunity I yelled at my wife and son to stop and turn around. She implored me to hurry up and take the picture because they were standing in the middle of the street and a car was coming. It was worth risking their lives for this shot, though, because it's been a dream of mine for quite some time to get a photo of Miss Sheri under Dick's.

Avery asked if we could get a pretzel at Pretzelmaker which claims to have the World's Best Soft Pretzel. I have to admit, they were pretty darn good....but I hear that there's some Pretzel Makers in Ecuador that are just a little bit better. Fricking Liars!

Shortarmguy's Diary Archive

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Shortarmguy appeared on the TLC Reality Show Miami Ink!

Watch the episode here and read about my trip to Miami!

1. Youtube Video

2. Prior Lake American Article

3. Blog Entry

Other Articles about Shortarmguy

Prior Lake American Article

Star Tribune Article

Luke and Avery's First Day at School

Shortarmguy Comedy Videos

Luke Swank's Comedy Debut

Best of Shortarmguy Comedy Video

Shortarmguy Wins Round One Of Twin Cities Funniest Person Competition 7/27/04

Shortarmguy Fights For Your Right To Party!

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Crazy Emails For March 29, 2009

AIG VS The Treasury

I Dare You To Cut Him Loose!

World's Greatest T-Shirt

Unemployment To Do List

Monster Moose

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Quote of the Week

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put it into action.”

– Napoleon Hill, writer

Jokes of the Week

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'