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Diary Entry For March 15, 2009
The Shortarmguy Family went to the Wooddale Fun Zone in Woodbury, Minnesota this week. Fun times were had by all!
I was so excited when we walked in the place and it looked just like the roller skating rinks I used to go to back when I was a kid in the seventies! They were even playing disco music!! I don't know about the rest of you, but every time I hear the song Funky Town it just makes me feel like I want to Boogie!!!
So we started out with skates we brought. But after awhile I just wasn't feeling a hundred percent satisfied. So I removed my inline roller blades and went to the counter and asked for some of their skates. Putting on those tan shoes and orange wheels brought me back to a time and place where I was a god of the hardwood floors!
We needed a little divine intervention for Miss Sheri. For some reason, she just kept flying around out of control. Shortly after this photo was shot, she ran into the brick wall in front of her doing about 20 miles an hour and did a cartwheel over the top. Every time this happened, though, she'd just brush herself off, smile, and get right back out there. What a trooper!
This is Alison and Sara from Camp Odayin. They planned the roller skating event. These wonderful ladies do such an awesome job at showing us fun times! I just wish they didn't always looks so sad all the time.
Luke got off to a a shaky start, but by the end of the night he was dancing away like a miniature John Travolta. Then Miss Sheri ran over him.
This is Trent. Luke and Avery have been taking rock and roll lessons from him. Since their classes are right after school while I'm still at work, I've never actually had the chance to meet him in person. But judging from his picture, he looks like my kind of dude.
So Avery is learning the electric guitar and Luke is learning the drums. I told the boys that this is really cool because maybe we could start a band. Since their mom knows how to play the piano, she could be on the keyboard. And since I don't have any skills with musical instruments, I could be the lead singer. Avery looked up at me and said "Well, we'll let you try out.....but no promises!"
Nice Web Emails of the Week Your are the greatest of Greats!
Hellllloooooo short arm guy!
I wanted to start by thanking you. For years I have been reading
your updates and laughing inwardly. You see, I must laugh inwardly
because my boss frowns upon happiness. regardless, I have finally
bitten the bullet and launched my own blog.
With your success at Internet shenanigans, I was hoping you could
check it out and give me a couple of pointers on how I am doing.
Then possibly shamelessly promote me as the best blog you have every
read (that day).
I believe you will find I have followed the proper protocol in
complimenting you, stroking your ego, then asking you for a favor,
so it should be impossible for you to deny me.
Seriously, I Hope you check it out and let me know what you think!
Greg
hey man i love your site, I have been going to it every Monday since i was a sophomore in high school now I'm in college. also i saw this car parked outside my work in Nashville, TN and thought you might like it.
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Shortarmguy appeared on the TLC Reality Show Miami Ink! Watch the episode here and read about my trip to Miami! 2. Prior Lake American Article Other Articles about Shortarmguy Luke and Avery's First Day at School
Shortarmguy Comedy Videos Best of Shortarmguy Comedy Video Shortarmguy Wins Round One Of Twin Cities Funniest Person Competition 7/27/04 Shortarmguy Fights For Your Right To Party!
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Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com Crazy Emails For March 15, 2009 The Democrat backed news media recently discovered that Sully is a republican. In an attempt to thwart his growing popularity and potential future political influence and his potentially swinging voters to vote Republican, the media with the backing of Democratic leadership have launched a smear campaign to discredit this American Hero by releasing the following ad. Scroll down, see the bottom of the ad
Scariest Toilet Ever!
Somebody didn't think this toy through very far...
Zipper Tongue
Crazy Signs --- March, 2009
Quote of the Week “One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before going to bed.”
– Bernard Baruch, financier Joke of the Week Did you know that President Obama signed his STIMULUS PACKAGE at the same desk where President Clinton got his PACKAGE STIMULATED?
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Shortarmguy's Favorite Websites March 15, 2009 I like Ron Paul!
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Shortarmguy's Emails To Make You Think Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com March 15, 2009 Global Financial Crisis explained: Linda is the proprietor of a bar. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers, most of whom are unemployed alcoholics, to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Linda's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Linda increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Linda's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items. One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Linda's bar. However, they cannot pay back the debts. Linda cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%. The suppliers of Linda's bar, having granted her generous payment-due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties (and vested interests). The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
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