Our den, the Fire Breathing Dragons, hosted the Pack 331 January meeting. Along with doing the flag ceremony, we also had fun performing a couple of skits including “The Ugliest Boy in the World!” Basically, I’m a carnival barker inviting people to pay me for a glimpse at Avery who was playing the ugliest boy in the world. All the boys in our den took a peek under the blanket and then screamed in fear and passed out. When there were no more boys left, we invited our Pack’s Committee Chairman to see if he was brave enough to take a look. When he lifted the blanket and looked under it, the site of his face scared the world’s ugliest boy so much that the boy screamed and fainted! And hilarity ensued!
It was a big weekend at the Shortarmguy Household! My high school buddies drove up from Iowa for our annual ski trip weekend. We always like to start the weekend by spending all of Friday night playing poker until the wee hours of Saturday morning. Then we get up as early as we can and spend the whole day storming down dangerous hills at high speeds while wishing that we’d had more sleep and wondering when our stupid hangovers would go finally away! I look forward to this weekend all year!
Naturally when you have friends come to town, you have to put them to work, right? Lincoln & Joel were kind enough to help us install a new dishwasher upon their arrival. And they were especially nice not to beat the crap out of me for constantly worrying out loud whether it was being installed correctly!
I woke up on Saturday and had quite a fright. After seeing this guy, I scrambled to find the phone to dial 911. I was terrified that Charles Manson had broken into my house. Luckily, it turned out to just be my friend, Ron. But it was still scary.
Of course, the reason the fellas came up this weekend was to partake in our annual ski trip at Afton Alps. Poor Krazy Kory had no idea he had an allergy to rabbit fur which suddenly caused his mouth to open wide and stay propped open for most of the day. Although he ended up swallowing a lot of snow throughout the day and God only knows what else, he eventually was able to regain control of his jaw and finally shut his mouth. But it was still a pretty sad thing to watch.
Lincoln didn’t have any mouth problems with the possible exception of being able to access it. During the previous week in Minnesota, we had temperatures ranging from 30 to 40 degrees below zero, but we were lucky that temperatures rose to a balmy 20 degrees for our ski adventure. It was so warm that Lincoln eventually took off his mask, but continued to proudly wear the logo of his favorite college team throughout the day. The large golden Iowa Hawkeye made him pretty easy to find on the ski slope.
This is Gabby. Easily the coolest person we met all day. The boys and I were snapping some photos on one of the chalet balconies when suddenly Gabby stuck her head out the door and said “Don’t you have a website? Weren’t you on some TV show recently?” I told Gabby that she rocked and I had to get this picture taken with her. It was a perfect time for a cute girl that I’d never met before to recognize me in public! My friends called me “a stud” for the rest of the day!! I was so happy. That is really a lot better than what they normally call me!
We did make a lot of new friends on the slopes especially the nice waitresses at the Highlands chalet. We ended our evening at their place and they were just so cool! They never threatened us with harassment charges even once! That’s a big step up for this group!
Most of the time we just skied. As usual, we had a lot of fun blazing our own trails and finding new places to ski. Here we are lost in the woods, but no-one was sad. As long as we’re together, we’re just happy to be on the ride to nowhere!
Eventually we settled in for a comfortable fireside chat filled with glorious tales of fun runs and nasty spills. Thank God we made it through another year without anyone suffering any major injuries. I’m especially happy that no innocent strangers were injured either! That definitely would have been possible had they accidentally wandered in the path of one of these guys. Some of my friends are kind of dangerous on the ski slopes.
Nice Emails of the Week
Apparently my Miami Ink episode played in Sweden today!
Hi! I saw you on Miami Ink!
And I hope you feel well
I wish you a happy and exciting new year!
Johanna from Sweden
I saw you on Miami Ink on television.
I think you are a really tough guy =)
Kim @ Sweden
I just wanted to show you my respect. Just saw the episode on Miami Ink that you where on (i live up north in Sweden so it airs later here then in the U.S). And i was amazed over how glad you where. It made me put stuff in perspective. So i just wanted to tell you that you are a real inspiration, keep it up and all respect to you! (And the tattoo was really awesome!, i got tattooes all over the body, and has seen many. But your tattoo was really the coolest one i have ever seen).
Greetings all the way from Sweden!
Walk In Closet
The Pole Dancer
Never Trust a Friend Who Requests You Wear a Blindfold
And I thought I had freaky hands!
Click on Google Maps
Enter this address:
240 N Cedar St, Hazleton, Luzerne, Pennsylvania 18201
Make sure you’re in satellite view. Keep zooming in until you see the hidden image. Priceless.
It’s been cold week in Minnesota!
Wall E Eggs
Wall E Sushi
What a loser looks like…
Someone is happy to be at the store!
Buy a baby hanger!
If Barney were alive today…
New Sign In Illinois
Quote of the Week
“There’s no better time than the present to be better than we were yesterday.”
– Gary Kelley, television weatherman
Joke of the Week
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
January 18, 2009
“I actually think Vista has received way more criticism than was warranted, but it will certainly be great to have a new operating system to discuss with customers that doesn’t have the baggage and the perceptions that Vista has,” said Todd Swank, director of marketing at Burnsville, Minn.-based NorTech.
“Assuming Windows 7 has all the benefits of Vista, has all the new features being promised, and is as stable as XP, I think many, many customers will be ready to finally start transitioning to a new Microsoft operating system,” added Swank.
Microsoft Offers Unlimited Windows 7 Downloads, CRN, Jan 12, 2009
St. Elmo’s Fire — Classic Movie now on Hulu!
He’s Just Not That Into You!
Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com
January 18, 2009
• Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11’s lunar module landed on the moon.
• A lion’s roar can be heard from five miles away.
• Dolphins don’t automatically breath; they have to tell themselves to do it.
•The term Cop comes from Constable on Patrol, which is a term used in England.
• Pamela Lee-Anderson is Canada’s Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada’s independence.
• Nobel Prize resulted from a late change in the will of Alfred Nobel, who did not want to be remembered as a propagator of violence-he invented dynamite.
• Whoopi Goldberg was a mortuary cosmetologist and a bricklayer before becoming an actress.
• Queen Victoria eased the discomfort of her menstrual cramps by having her doctor supply her with marijuana.
• Guinness Book Of Records holds the record for being the book most stolen from Public Libraries.
• When Saigon fell, the signal for all Americans to evacuate was Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” being played on the radio.
• The pet ferret was domesticated more than 500 years before the house cat.
• The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s home, conceals a billiards room. In Jefferson’s day, billiards were illegal in Virginia.
• The first toilet being flushed in a motion picture was in the movie “Psycho.”
• Q-Tip Cotton Swabs were originally called Baby Gays.
• People have the tendency to chew the food on the side that they most often use their hand.
• Thomas Edison once saved a boy from the path of an oncoming locomotive who was a station official’s child. For his bravery, the boy’s father taught Edison how to use the telegraph.
• Cleopatra married two of her brothers.
• Fidel Castro was once a star baseball player for the University of Havana in the 1940’s.
• Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
• American actor Jack Nicholson, and American singer Bobby Darrin were raised believing their grandmothers were their mothers and their mothers were their older sisters.
• There was a false floor fitted in Adolf Hitler’s Mercedes 770K to make him look taller when he stood up in the car.
• In 1939, Judy Garland was originally considered to play Careen, Scarlett’s younger sister in Gone With The Wind. But the deal fell through after she decided to take the role of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz instead.
• Shirley Temple was considered to play the role of Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz.”
• Astronaut Buzz Aldrin’s mother’s maiden name was “Moon.” Buzz was the second man to step onto the Moon in 1969.
• Malcolm X’s real name is Malcolm Little.
• Houdini’s real name was Ehrich Weiss.
• Alaska could hold the 21 smallest States.
• If an Amish man has a beard, he is married.
• If a native Hawaiian woman places the flower on her right ear, she is available. (The bigger the flower, the more desperate)
• Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.
• Babies are born without kneecaps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.
• Babies’ eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.
• The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you’ll have a bad dream.
• Famous actor Leonardo DiCaprio appeared on the educational children’s program “Romper Room” when he was three years old.
• Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.
• The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.