Prior Lake Lakefront Days

It was Lakefront Days in Prior Lake, Minnesota this past weekend!  The best days of the summer to be in Prior Lake!  Inflatables for the kids, fireworks, live bands, bingo, beer gardens, the Laker Idol Karaoke competition, and much, much more!!  As you can tell from Luke’s expression, he was ecstatic to be there!

On Friday night, there was a car cruise through downtown Prior Lake.  Our old buddy, Larry Hanson, and his partners at Turn-Key Racing brought their race cars down to show off to their adoring fans.  Larry was kind enough to give us a tour of his incredible racecar trailer that can hold up to three cars at a time.  He also did a neat trick here where he balanced one of his cars on top of his head while having this photo taken. 

The Turn Key Racing team has grown to four cars and drivers.  It’s quite an impressive operation!  I keep asking these guys if I can be one of their drivers, but they always politely tell me no.  They have some silly rule that their drivers need to know something about either cars or driving.   What’s up with that?

Avery was quite concerned for this gentleman and the fact that he was apparently sitting on wet paint.  He really wanted to warn him, but we talked him out of it.  We figured his pants were already dirty and in effect he was blocking other people from making the same mistake.

On Saturday morning, we joined Cub Scout Pack 331 and proudly walked in the Lakefront Days Parade! 

I was recruited to hand out scouting literature this year  instead of getting to enjoy tossing out candy with Luke and Avery.  It was too bad because I saw a lot of people in the crowd that I would have loved to pelt with a tootsie roll to the side of the head!

This is Jack Haugen and he is the current Mayor of Prior Lake, Minnesota.  Mayor Haugen and I go way back!  To about thirty seconds before this photo was taken.  I introduced myself and then immediately asked if I could get a picture with him.  He looked at me for a second seemingly sizing me up to make sure I wasn’t a weirdo, then happily obliged.  That act alone ensures he gets my vote in the future!

Speaking of upcoming elections, this is my good friend, Tom Wolf.  He was Luke and Avery’s basketball coach this past year and is currently running for the position of Scott County Commissioner.  I can personally endorse Tom because I know what a good guy he is.  If you need more reason than that to vote for him, check out his website here.

These are my new friends, Jason, Courtney, Macy, and Ryan.  I met them on Thursday night at the Canine Carnival.  They introduced themselves and told me they were huge fans of Miami Ink.  They asked to see my tattoo and naturally I was happy to oblige.  It’s a bit embarrassing when people ask to see my tattoo because I honestly have difficulty lifting up the sleeve to show it to people.  I usually have to ask them for help!  I think it’s a little forward on my behalf to be asking people to lift up my shirt right after meeting…but these nice people didn’t seem to mind giving me a hand! 

On Saturday night, Lakefront Days hosted the Taste of Prior Lake.  This is an event where most of the local restaurants set up booths and sell their favorite menu items to the masses.  This nice guy from Divine Swine Catering let me come into his booth and take pictures of his pig.  Although I have to admit, I had a a tough time enjoying my pork sandwich after seeing this cute little guy being boiled alive on the big grill while still wearing his funky glasses.  At least they gave him an apple to chew on while they killed him.  That was pretty nice!

How Not to Cut Down a Tree

Don’t Buy the Wrong Puppy Food!

The Puppy Whisperer

The Dangers of Solar Panels

Best Billboard Ever

Move along, folks.  Nothing to see here!

Scuba Dog

Family Vacation

This is so sad…

Witch Soldiers

Best Marketing Gimmick Ever

Not sure I want to go here…

This Looks Safe!

Quote of the Week

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”

— Benjamin Disraeli

 

Jokes of the Week

The Blonde Mortician

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.   The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

  

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

  

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’ m very grateful.  How much did you spend?’ To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

 

 ‘There’s no charge,’ she says. ‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

  

 ‘So I just switched the heads.’

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites

August 10, 2008

Buzzfeed —  Awesome website like DIGG

 

Paris Hilton Responds to the John McCain Ad

  See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

My old buddy, Tony Bonsante, got screwed in his last fight!

Miley Cyrus — The Seven Things I Hate about You

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com

August 10, 2008

 

You think English is easy ?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught ? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the Eng lish speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is
‘UP’

It’s easy to understand
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary.. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.. I f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP ,you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
UP

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry
UP

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it
UP ,for now my time is UP, so……….. it is time to shut UP !

Oh . . one more thing:



What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U-P