Monster Jam In Minneapolis 2008

On Monday morning, I woke up to find these nice gentleman from the City pounding their machines into the street in front of my house.  I asked them what the heck was their problem and they told me a big pipe had burst under ground and many gallons of water were spewing free.  Therefore, they had to dig down to fix up things.  I wished them good luck and they told me that there was a chance a large portion of my lawn would be gone when I returned should the ground collapse around where they were digging.  I thought that would be a pretty cool way to start out the week!

On Monday, night we went to a Minnesota Wild Game where we saw the local hockey team have a high scoring match against the mighty Colorado Avalanche.  The Wild were beat in a close game 6 to 5.  The boys didn’t care much about the score.  They were just excited they got to see fights where the mom and dad didn’t step in to break them up! 

We went to the game to support our good friends at Camp Odayin.  They are the Wild’s Charity of the Month for December.  This is Allison who coordinates many of the fun events that Camp Odayin hosts.  We had such a nice time chatting together that we missed a lot of the game’s intense drama.  As you can see in the background, the score was 5 to 6 with only 5 minutes to go and there we stood posing for pictures.   I don’t know if any of the Wild die-hards saw this sin against the game of hockey, but if they did we may now be banned from attending future games at the Xcel Center. 

We’ve been racking our brains trying to figure out ways to exploit our children so we can finally start seeing some return on our investment of raising them.  Since Miss Sheri is a licensed music teacher, we had the bright idea of turning them into rock stars.  I’m not sure what the legal age is where we can actually send them out on a nationwide concert tour, but we’re hoping to have them nice and trained by then.  

So Luke will play the drums, Avery will play the guitar,  Miss Sheri will play the keyboard, and I’m going to sing.  We’re going to be bigger than the Fricking Partridge Family!

On Saturday night, we had the joy of going to see Grave Digger, Maximum Destruction, and the rest of the boys at the Monster Jam Monster Truck Rally at the Metrodome in down town Minneapolis.  We all wore thick hoods while we were there because we heard there were a lot of red necks at these events. We weren’t sure what that was all about but we worried it  might be something contagious. 

Monster Truck Rallies are so cool!  They start the event with a series of races around the track and end it with a series of “Free Style” runs where basically the drivers try to wreck everything around them including their own trucks.  The more destruction, the louder the crowd cheers!

I swear the guys doing this have to be just a little bit off their rockers.  They create the biggest vehicle they can imagine,  soup it up so it’s louder than a jet engine, and then drive as fast as they can over and into sharp pieces of metal.  I think these people would be much better off pursuing careers in politics instead

It’s amazing watching Monster Trucks fly through the air.  They’re just so graceful.  It reminds me of watching elephants making love.

Of course, not every landing goes well.  Most of the drivers aren’t satisfied unless they roll their vehicle over in some glorious fashion.  I would think that crashing your vehicle would cause you to get a lower score in the competition, but in Monster Truck rallies that seems to create bonus points.  I thought it was lucky that none of these vehicles burst into flames, but maybe that would have been some kind of pathway to the championship.

I put together this video featuring some of the highlights from the Minnesota Monster Jam. 

I hope you enjoy it!

Nice Emails of the Week

Hi there!

 

This is a little late but I finally decided to send you an email.  Like everyone else, I saw you on Miami Ink a few months ago. 

 

I was in the other room doing something I now forget when, all of a sudden, my girlfriend yells, “Oh my god, you have to come here right now!”  I raced to the living room and she said, “This guy has arms just like you!”  Never in my life had I seen someone who’s hands were so similar to mine.  Like you, I have 8 fingers but also have an underdeveloped thumb on my right hand that serves no purpose but I refuse to remove it because, well, its a part of me!  My left arm only has one bone in the forearm and is about an inch shorter than my right.   When I was 16 I underwent a limb-lengthening procedure that balanced me out a little more but it was no walk in the park.  You have to make sure you want to commit to something like that because there’s no going back 🙂 

 

What really affected me was your explanation of Holt-Oram Syndrome.  I never knew that I could have “something” that other people had.  Growing up, nobody ever told me that I had a syndrome or some off-shoot of a disorder and I always thought I was “one-of-a-kind” in a way.  I asked my parents why they never told me and they said I have an offset of HO & that they didn’t want me to label myself with a syndrome.  I guess I can see their point now.  Its not like I’m going to join any support groups to meet people like me but it was nice to know that I’m not the only one.  I know the severity is different among people but I’m lucky I can play the piano, guitar, drums, and anything else (well, maybe not opening a heavy duty jar here and there!)  It’s weird to me that people are amazed that I actually CAN do these things without thumbs.  I never had them so I learned to do things my way.  The body adapts and now my pointer fingers act as thumbs even though I chose not to get the surgery that you and many others did.  In college, people always tried to do things without their thumbs to see how “hard” i have it but they didn’t understand that’s not the same thing and I really don’t have it hard!!!  Like you and others, I can do so many things “normal” people can do plus more.

 

I admire that you can take your “disability” (I hate that word) and create something positive with it.  I’ve been this way for 23 years and you would think that I would be fine with explaining to ignorant adults and inquisitive kids but the truth is it really pisses me off and makes me feel so uncomfortable when anybody asks.  I don’t want to be seen as different!  the worst is when I reach for change at a counter and the associate does a double take at my hands….AHH!  We’re all different…we’re just a little more obvious.  That’s something I need to work on and seeing you on TV makes me feel a lot better about it.

 

So add this to the millions of other emails you have already received 🙂  Best of luck in the future and thank you for telling your story.  Its not like my life has changed knowing there are others out there like me but it has given me a sense of comfort that I am not alone.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lori

 

p.s. If you have some free time check out my pages!

 

www.cavataclothing.com (coming soon!)

www.myspace.com/lorikirkmusic

www.myspace.com/lorik

 

Todd…

Your web site came to mind when I read this article today… You’re right crippled is indeed a state of mind…

 

I thought you would find this article interesting as well, being a pilot I can tell you this was no small accomplishment for this young lady…

I read about her in one of the flight magazines I get, absolutely amazing… I will tell you some days when I fly I wish I had extra hands to deal with all the

Controls, switches, dials, and levers and all she has is her feet…. WOW!!

 

 www.rightfooted.com

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Videos

Click on the Pictures to View!

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Videos for December 7, 2008

Best Christmas Lights of 2008!

How many bricks can you carry?

How many frogs can you carry?

Signs of the Times

The New Presidential Limo

My wife kept pestering me to hang the Christmas Lights, so I did.

Budget Apple Laptop

Guess What Movie Comes out on DVD on Tuesday…

Pictures Taken at Just The Right Time…

Click Here for the Shortarmguy.com Christmas Funnies Page

 

Quote of the Week

Wisdom from somebody’s grandfather!

Always keep track of your rich friends-

the poor ones Will keep track of you!

Joke of the Week

Baptizing the Bear

 A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
 to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. They
 would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

 One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t
 really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

 One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They
 would/all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
 to convert it.

 Seven days later, they’re all together to discuss the experience.
 Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
 various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

 ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I went into the woods to find a bear. And when I
 found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
 wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I
 quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
 God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to
 give him first communion and confirmation.’

 Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
 both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire an brimstone
 oratory he claimed, ‘WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don’t sprinkle! I
 went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear
 from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I
 took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,
 UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So right
 quick-like, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like
 you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.’

 They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, ‘Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.’

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites

December 7, 2008

Imagining the Tenth Dimension

Prop 8 The Musical

  See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com

December 7, 2008

 

Quotes from past gridiron legends have added to football’s lore and should be passed on to today’s youth to increase their wisdom.
 

#1.  ‘Football is only a game.  Spiritual things are eternal.  Nevertheless, Beat Texas’  Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

#2.  ‘After you retire, there’s only one big event left… and I ain’t ready for that.’  Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#3.  ‘The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.’  Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#4.  ‘When you win, nothing hurts.’  Joe Namath / Alabama

#5.  ‘Motivation is simple.  You eliminate those who are not motivated.’  Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#6.  ‘If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, ‘Roll, tide, roll!’  Bear Bryant / Alabama

#7.  ‘A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.’  Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

#8.  ‘There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.’  Woody Hayes / Ohio State

#9.  ‘I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation.  I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.’  Bob Devaney / Nebraska

#10.  ‘In Alabama , an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.’  Wally Butts / Georgia

#11.  ‘You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.’  Paul Dietzel / LSU

#12.  ‘It’s kind of hard to rally around a math class.’  Bear Bryant / Alabama

#13.  When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.  ‘No, but you can see it from here.’  Lou Holtz / Arkansas …

#14.  ‘I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.’  Bear Bryant / Alabama

#15.  ‘There’s one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line.’  Matty Bell / SMU

#16.  ‘Lads, you’re not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.’  Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

#17.  ‘I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.’  Alex Karras / Iowa

#18.  ‘My advice to defensive players:  Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.’ Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

#19.  ‘I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.’ Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

#20.  ‘Always remember… Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.’ Shug Jordan / Auburn

#21.  ‘They cut us up like boarding house pie.  And that’s real small pieces.’  Darrell Royal / Texas

#22.  ‘Show me a good and gracious loser, and I’ll show you a failure.’  Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#23.  ‘They whipped us like a tied up goat.’ Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

#24.  ‘I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me and he said:  ‘Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren’t any good.’ Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

#25.  ‘Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.’  Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#26.  ‘Football is not a contact sport – it is a collision sport.  Dancing is a contact sport.’  Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

#27.  After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team:  ‘All those who need showers, take them.’  John McKay / USC

#28.  ‘If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.’ Murray Warmath / Minnesota

#29.  ‘The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb.  To be a back, you only have to be dumb.’ Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#30.  ‘Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.’  Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

#31.  ‘It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle.  You can hear it.’  Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#32.  ‘We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.’ Darrell Royal / Texas

#33.  ‘We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.’  Wilson Matthews / Little Rock Central High School

#34.  ‘Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad. Darrell Royal / University of Texas

#35.  ‘I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.’ Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#36.  ‘Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.’ John Heisman