Minnesota Renaissance 2008

It was a bit of an uncomfortable week in Shortarmguy Land.  Due to some medical issues I was experiencing down under, my doctor suggested I go in to experience the thrill of my first colonoscopy.  What a nice treat!  I was told to starve myself by not eating anything for thirty six hours.  Next, I was supposed to force myself to consume over two hundred ounces of water, Gatorade, and tasty laxatives.  Finally, I had to expel that same two hundred ounces of liquid joy a short time later.  Then, as a reward for my sacrifices, I got to have a strange man explore my body like it was my first night in prison.  What fun!!  Honestly, it wasn’t that bad.  I highly recommend it to all of you to make sure all my good friends are maintaining healthy colons.  My only complaint is that the doctor wouldn’t allow me to get a picture taken during the actual procedure.  He allowed the nurse to take this picture shortly before he had his way with me.  Silly Butt Doctor!  

On Friday night, we had a lame time at home.  We did play a  quick little husband/wife ping pong tournament, which I’m happy to say I won.  Don’t let her cute little smile fool you, folks.  She’s a wicked ping-pong player.

On Saturday, we had the times of our lives at The Minnesota Renaissance Festival in Shakopee, Minnesota!  Right after we arrived, this nice gentleman met us at the gate.  I thought he looked very much like the guy who performed my colonoscopy which made me quite nervous to turn my back on him to get this picture.  Lucky for me, nothing happened.

A good friend of mine told me that he doesn’t like to go to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival because it’s just a bunch of “Theater Rejects” walking around.  I guess I just don’t agree with him.  I think a lot of these people probably do very well in their respective theater programs.

We went for a walk through the woods to try to find what was being billed as the “secret garden”.  Along our journey, we came across this friendly man who invited Luke and Avery to sit next to him on his Magic Rock.  I told them that it wasn’t a magic rock unless it made their butts sparkle.  It didn’t.  Silly Plant Man! 

Miss Sheri decided she had enough fun being around us for one day and decided to lay down in this hammock while I took the boys around the festival.  This was the last time I’ve seen her.  As far as I know she’s still there as I write this.

We enjoyed watching the various entertainers.  This group mixed fire breathing and belly dancing which at first I thought sounded like a nice combination indeed.

This guy was an amazing fire breather!  I think it’s very cool when someone fills their mouth full of a highly flammable liquid and then spits it out on an open flame.  He blew us away with tricks like this, but when he started belly dancing I pretty much lost all interest in the show.

I took some videos at the show that I thought you might enjoy seeing.

All in all, we had a pretty darned good time at the Minnesota Renaissance!

Young Engineers

Snowmobile Racing Might Not Be Your Thing!

Truck Surfing Might Not Be Your Thing

Guessing The Marriage is Going to Have a Tough Time

We’re definitely going to get change in this election!

Obama’s Inbox

New Demotivators

te of the Week

‘Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. 
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. 
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. 
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. 
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So – if you give her crap,  you will receive more shit than any one human being can handle.

—Author Unknown

 

Jokes of the Week

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for ‘Bear Removers.’

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30  minutes.
 
 The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
 
 ‘What are you going to do,’ the homeowner asks?
  
 ‘I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in
 the cage in the back of the van.’
 
 He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

‘What’s the shotgun for?’ asks the homeowner.
 
‘If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.’

Dear Boss,

I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.  I will also continue to spend your money as fast as I can without regard to merit or need.  Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.  During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job. Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this. 

Sincerely,

Every Senator or Congressman running for President!!!!!

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites

September 21, 2008

Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder, has been closely watching the industry’s transformation from standard desktop technology into all sorts of unique form factors that emphasize smaller sizes and better mobility.

“It’s great to see Acer entering this market, because historically they’ve had high quality products at very aggressive price points, which should help this market segment grow even larger,” said Swank.

 
Acer Execs Trumpet Virtues Of Mobility,  CRN,  September 19, 2008

That’s What She Said

Drunk, Sleeping Fan Victimized by Beer Cups at Shea Stadium

I’m a PC

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com

September 21, 2008

The attached video is of dolphins playing with silver colored rings which they have the ability to make under water to play with.  It isn’t known how they learn this, or if it’s an inbred ability.

 

As if by magic the dolphin does a quick flip of its head and a silver ring appears  in front of its pointed beak. The ring is a solid, donut shaped bubble about 2-ft across, yet it doesn’t rise to the surface of the water!

 

It stands upright in the water like a magic doorway to an unseen dimension. The dolphin then pulls a small silver donut from the larger one.  Looking at  the twisting ring for one last time a bite is taken from it, causing the small ring to collapse into a thousands of tiny bubbles which head upward towards the water’s surface.  After a few moments the dolphin creates another ring to play with.  There also seems to be a separate mechanism for producing small rings, which a dolphin can accomplish by a quick flip of its head.
 
An explanation of how dolphins make these silver rings is that they are “air-core vortex rings”.  Invisible, spinning vortices in the water are generated from the tip of a dolphin’s dorsal fin when it is moving rapidly and turning. When dolphins break the line, the ends are drawn together into a closed ring.  The higher velocity fluid around the core of the vortex is at a lower pressure than the fluid circulating farther away. Air is injected into the rings via bubbles released from the dolphin’s blowhole. The energy of the water vortex is enough to keep the bubbles from rising for a reasonably few seconds of play time.