I will put a new site on this page each week. This will be a site that either made me laugh my butt off, twisted my mind, or inspired me in some way. If I can’t find a site like this each week, the link will probably lead to a bunch of naked chicks!!
December 31, 2001
So I’m watching 60 Minutes II the other night and this story comes on about this dude named Bob Rines. Seems he’s an MIT professor who is claiming to have seen the Loch Ness Monster. He’s spending a bunch of time and money going on expeditions searching for the beast. I’ve always been a Nessie fan, so I sought out more information. I found a video on scifi.com with some really cool footage of a different lake monster named Champ that supposedly lives in a lake in Vermont. I don’t know if the video is faked or not, but even if it is…It’s pretty cool. Reminded me of the first time I stumbled on the Blair Witch Project website (before it was famous) and thought it was real! I really hope this Rines guy finds a whole school of these lake monsters. And then kills them all…
December 8, 2001
George Harrison Tribute — Great musician. Great band. Great Loss. George Harrison….Dead. The world will never know another band as great as the Beatles. This site is the AP’s tribute to Harrison’s Legacy.
December 2, 2001
Weird Links — WeirdLinks.com by Low-Life Productions is a very cool site! They claim they have links to thousands of weird, wacky and wild websites. I only visited a few, but the ones I saw were pretty darn cool! Plus, in what was probably the most obvious clue to me that these guys use only the best of the best links, they had Shortarmguy.com as a featured link on November 20th. I’m so proud to be a Weird Link!!!!!
November 25, 2001
Diplomacy — Lethal Weapon Actor Danny Glover recently gave a speech explaining his views on the current war against terrorism. He felt as though we should go easy on Bin Laden and his followers by not killing them. I can see some wisdom in this line of thinking. This week’s favorite website depicts a possible great method using peace and love in dealing with the terrorists.
November 19, 2001
Tourist Guy — A few weeks back I posted several photos of the guy that was unlucky enough to be at the top of the World Trade Center when the first plane hit. Many of you may recall that this unfortunate soul was also at the scene of several other of the world’s disasters. This site showcases many, many other tragedies this poor guy has seen.
November 11, 2001
Interview With Bin Laden — CNN is reportedly negotiating to get an exclusive interview with Bin Laden. If it’s half as funny as this interview from Suck My News Network, I’ll be watching for sure.
My twin sons, Luke and Avery, have told me that since I take time away from them to work on my website that they should at least get some occasional input into what content I include. Since they’re so damned cute, I just had to give in. Besides, how do you argue with a pair of two year olds?
Avery’s Pick of the Week — Monsters Inc Trailer. Luke and Avery call this video “Baby”. I’m guessing because there’s a little girl in it that scares the Monsters that looks like a baby. But I could be wrong. For some strange reason, my sons can watch this over and over and over and over and over….
October 28, 2001
Bin Laden’s Special Song — If you haven’t seen this Colin Powell/George Bush music video yet, you really should check it out. Powell’s belting out the vocals with Bush backing him up on drums. Smooth beats, man! Smooth beats!
Packers Suck — As a season ticket holder of the Minnesota Vikings, I’ve been exposed to this little chant frequently. After attending last week’s romp over the Green and Gold, I thought it might be appropriate to share the sentiment with all my visitors. I hope all Shortarmguy.com fans from Wisconsin or who wish they were from Wisconsin will except my apologies in advance.
October 23, 2001
Freck’s New Feet — This dude is going to cut his own feet off with a guillotine live on the internet!! And some people have the nerve to call my site self-indulgent??? Hey folks, let me clear one thing up. I’ve created Shortarmguy.com to make some people laugh and maybe inspire some other people to look at life a little differently. But if I ever start to cut off body parts to get people to pay attention to me, please let me know that maybe I’ve taken things a little bit too far!
October 16, 2001
Joe Cartoon — Home of such favorite cartoons as frog in the blender, gerbil in the microwave, and gerbil in the piranha tank! This is fun, fun stuff!! People that make funny cartoons of animals being tortured are no longer considered as potential serial killers. They’re now signing contracts to make movies for Hollywood! Oh, what a wonderful world!
August 27, 2001
Kung Fu Movie — This will make you long for the grand old days of going to see a Bruce Lee movie at the Saturday Matinees. I never went to Kung Fu movies as a kid. I deprived myself this pleasure as a youth and I truly believe that it has carried a negative effect on my soul throughout my entire adult life. So I’m repenting and washing myself of my sins by seeking out whatever Kung Fu Movies I can find in the new internet media. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to forgive myself and be able to cleanse my soul.
August 18, 2001
Stickmen Deaths — Possible proof that serial killers don’t need to kill small animals to get attention any more. The internet has provided a whole new outlet for people to release their rage on humanity. The victims in this instance are poor, helpless little stick people that meet their makers in a variety of gruesome and bloody deaths. Check out this site if you dare, but you may want to send the kiddies to bed first. They don’t need to see the carnage.
August 5, 2001
Rich Dad — This series of books kicks ass. I especially recommend “Rich Dad. Poor Dad.” Robert Kiyosaki writes great tales that challenge traditional thinking about careers, investing, & personal finance. He explains how we should all be seeking financial freedom, rather than job security. If you’ve ever thought you’d like to be able to manage your financial life better, go out and buy it. Since I’m not making commission on this recommendation, I’m giving this advice on a contingency basis. If you buy the book and it helps make you rich, please send me $2,000.
July 26, 2001
AdCritic.com — This site is a complete study of advertising. It has hilarious videos to download and other cool stuff. You commercials junkies can quench your thirst here while you’re waiting to get The Commercials Channel on satellite.
July 7, 2001
The Best Simpsons Character — This site is attempting to make the ultimate determination on who exactly is the best supporting character on The Simpsons. Which, by the way, is still the greatest show on television. Nothing else compares. Go to this site and place your votes. Who will it be? Fat Tony or Montgomery Burns? Krusty the Klown or Troy McClure? My money’s on Comic Book Guy. Worst episode ever!
June 30, 2001
Animal House Sounds — Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! It’s hard to believe that Animal House has been out for over 25 years now. Damn, we’re getting old! To celebrate this awesome cinematic event, this week’s favorite link leads to a site full of classic audio clips from a great, great movie. I’m a zit, get it? Enjoy!!
June 23, 2001
Is She Legal Age? — This site will tell you what is the legal age for sexual consent in every state in the USA and also many different countries in the world. This can be very useful information and will probably keep several of ShortArmGuy’s closest friends out of prison. So before you start making your moves, please remember to check this page to see if she or he is old enough! And yes, Kory, there is male on male information included for you as well. Thank you!
June 17, 2001
The Motley Fool Post of the Day —– Shortarmguy’s alter ego Todd Swank has a favorite stock called Advanced Micro Devices (AMD). He wrote this article on the popular finance message board site Fool.com. The Motley Fool selected this as Post of the Day from thousands of messages that were posted that day. Shortarmguy likes to Toot Todd Swank’s horn every time he gets a chance….it just doesn’t happen that often!
June 8, 2001
The Bush Twins — You gotta love George W Bush’s daughters. Not only are they little hotties, they’re big time partiers as well. If you ever get to Minnesota, girls, stop by the Shortarmguy abode. I’ll be more than happy to buy some beer for you. This site digs up all sorts of cool dirt on the First Twins.
June 2, 2001
Google.com — The best search engine on the web bar none. I use it all the time. Type in a word or phrase and it will give you a match that is the most relevant based on the number of other pages linked to it. It find everything I’m ever looking for, including the really strange sexual positions. Also, it was the first search engine that I’ve seen to start leading people to shortarmguy.com. So it’s got that going for it…
May 27, 2001
ReverseSpeech.com — These people actually believe that when people speak, their sub-conscience mind spits out words in reverse that have meaning to them. So when I yell out to them, “This site is a bunch of bullshit!”, they can take my words play them backwards and I’ll say “What an interesting and informative concept. I’ll name the site as one of my favorite links.”
May 19, 2001
Light me up! — This site shows a photo from space of all the lights of Earth turned on at the same time. It is a composite of many orbital passes…within a 24 hr period. It was taken by aliens from another planet. They are plotting our human sleep patterns so they can gauge the best time for attack. Or maybe it was taken by NASA, I really can’t say for sure.
May 12, 2001
TheOnion.com — Possibly the funniest site on the internet (next to shortarmguy.com of course). How could you not love a site with headlines like “Nation’s Porn Stars Demand to be Fucked Harder” and “God Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder”. That’s just good humor!
May 5, 2001
Disney Future — All right, I’ll admit it. I’m a little kid inside. I still love Disney World. Just the thought of being there brings me spinning back into my childhood….so much so that I just peed my pants while typing this. This site is all about future developments at Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Movies and everything else the dang mouse house is up to. You go visit the site, I’ll go change my pants.
April 22, 2001
IMDB.com — The Internet Movie Data Base. The greatest site on the net to get any questions about the movies you want answered. Do you have a burning desire to know what other movies that the naked chick from American Pie has appeared? This site will tell you.
April 15, 2001
The IT Question? — What is IT? We haven’t heard much lately about Dean Kamen’s Mysterious New Invention. This site digs up all sorts of information about what it might be and how it could change the world. Most people think it’s some sort of new ultra-cool transportation device. We won’t find out for sure until the invention’s planned release in 2002. My hope is for some kind of self-propelled, self-cleaning Masturbation Machine. The old styles are just too klunky.
April 7, 2001
Here Birdy Birdy — Several people at work couldn’t open this link, but I could! I thought it was worth putting on here, because for the people that can get through it’s a damn funny sight! A bird flies right in front of a fastball and “PLOW!” it explodes into a cloud of feathers! PETA will probably start picketing baseball games now!
April 1, 2001
Dotcom 1040 Form — I remember when I used to be so jealous of my friends that had new jobs with cool internet companies. I heard all about their neat perks and stock options and the crap like that. They drove me nutty. I don’t feel so bad any more, now that I’ve seen the tax forms they have to fill out.
March 17, 2001
All Your Base Are Belong To US — The phenomenon sweeping the internet. My understanding is that the saying was originally discovered on a poorly translated video game that came into the US from overseas. However, once you’ve heard the words repeated to you over and over, you will soon get the deeper meaning of The Message. It could consume your life if you let it get into your brain too deeply, so watch it!
March 10, 2001
Apex Predators — Ever since I was a little kid and saw Jaws, I’ve always had a fascination with Great White Sharks, but I’ll be damned if I ever knew that they could jump out of the water like a flying fish! This site has several fascinating photos of big sharks doing just that. There’s also some cool shots of a shark eating a dead whale or something.
March 4, 2001
The Drudge Report — Nothing wacky this week. Instead, I provide this link because a lot of people I talk to still don’t use this site. I think it’s the greatest news source on the web. I visit it about 20 times every day! It always has some interesting tidbit to read about. Check it out….you won’t be disappointed!
February 25, 2001
Requiem for a Dream — This trippy site is from the producers of the movie Requiem for a Dream. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but if it’s anything like the website then…..I don’t get it.
February 18, 2001
Moon Fakers — So you really think we went to the moon? Don’t believe it for a minute. Them bastards at NASA tricked us by putting on a Dog and Pony Show at some soundstage probably in AREA 51. Fox TV revealed the scam with a special called Conspiracy Theory: Did we really land on the moon? My eyes are finally opened after having the wool pulled over them since July 20, 1969. This site is dedicated to exposing the sham called a Moon Landing. Read it, Learn it, Live it. We need to be able to recognize when this shady organization called The US Government tries to pull another fraud like this one again. Next thing you know these people will try to tell us that the Loch Ness Monster ain’t for real!