Shortarmguy's Emails To Make You Think
November 25, 2007
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the ‘Rowing Team Quality First Program,’ with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was out-sourced to India.
Sadly, The End.
Here’s something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can’t make money paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter’s results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads.
IF THIS WEREN’T SO TRUE, IT MIGHT BE FUNNY.
November 18, 2007
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself (and doesn’t feel even the least bit weird shutting your ‘Pepsi drawer’ with her foot!)
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..
A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.
A simple friend brings a snack to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!
November 11, 2007
In my 33 years in Michigan ‘s Upper Peninsula , I have never seen a newborn baby moose.
This one was not even a half mile from our house. The mother picked a small quiet neighbor and had her baby in the front yard just off of US 2,at 5:30 am .
Allen and I were out bike riding when we came upon the pair. The lady across the street from this house told us she saw it being born.
We saw them at 5:30 PM . So the little one was 12 hours old.a
What an awesome place we live in to see such a site. Carla Jo
November 4, 2007
little bit of L.A. history……
How To Hide An Airplane Factory
During World War II the Army Corps of Engineers needed to hide the Lockheed Burbank Aircraft Plant to protect it from a Japanese air attack. They covered it with camouflage netting to make it look like a rural subdivision from the air.
October 28, 2007
A Group Of One-Liners
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Dumbass’s.
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol
- I live in my own little world but it’s OK, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I
said, “Thyroid problem?”
5. I don’t do drugs ’cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up
6. A sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”
7. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live With.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal?”
10. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get
11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no
12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
13. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan
to attain world peace, and he told me I have “Schiffer Brains.”
18. No one ever says “It’s only a game!” when their team is winning.
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
- Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
22. Marriage changes passion…suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
24. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words:
Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”
October 21, 2007
Just up the road is a field not far from here, with two horses in it.
From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.
Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.
His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.
If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is,
so he can follow her.
As you stand and watch these two friends, you’ll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then
slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray.
When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn’t too far behind to hear the bell.
Like the owner of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems
or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.
Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see.
Good friends are like this…
You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.
Please listen for my bell and I’ll listen for yours.
“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”
October 14, 2007
From The Mouths of Babes
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
— Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
— Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– – Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
— Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
— Ricky, age
October 7, 2007
Stuart Brown describes Norbert Rosing’s striking images of a wild polar bear playing with sled dogs in the wilds of Canada’s Hudson Bay.
The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his huskies when the polar bear materialized out of the blue, as it were:
Obviously it was a well-fed Bear…
The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs..
My thought is, what if they had shot the bear? He meant no harm. Many times we assume others mean us harm or dislike us and it’s no more true than it was of the bears intent. A friendship that doesn’t happen because we are afraid of what the other is thinking or intending. Sad, isn’t it! Could be true of other countries as well…
Inspiration from the past
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email firstname.lastname@example.org the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I’m hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream “I’m glad to be alive!” If this happens to you, please send pictures and I’ll post them here!