Shortarmguy's Inspirational Page
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email email@example.com the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I’m hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream “I’m glad to be alive!” If this happens to you, please send pictures and I’ll post them here!
January 26, 2003
Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Don’t interrupt me. I’m praying.
BUT — YOU CALLED ME.
Called you? No, I didn’t call you. I’m praying. Our Father who art in heaven.
THERE — YOU DID IT AGAIN.
CALLED ME. YOU SAID, “OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN.” WELL, HERE I AM.
WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?
But, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord’s Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
WELL, ALL RIGHT. GO ON.
Okay, Hallowed be Thy name…
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
BY “HALLOWED BE THY NAME”?
It means, it means … good grief, I don’t know what it means. How in the World should I know? It’s just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
IT MEANS HONORED, HOLY, WONDERFUL.
Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what ‘hallowed’ meant before. Thanks. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
Sure, why not?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there. We’re kinda in a mess down here you know.
YES, I KNOW; BUT, HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?
Well, I go to church.
THAT ISN’T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU’VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE’S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY — ALL ON YOURSELF. AND WHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF BOOKS YOU READ?
Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I’m just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU — FOR EXAMPLE.
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
SO COULD I.
I haven’t thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.
GOOD. NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE’LL WORK TOGETHER — YOU AND ME. I’M PROUD OF YOU.
Look, Lord, if you don’t mind, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. Give us this day, our daily bread.
YOU NEED TO CUT OUT THE BREAD. YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.
PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU JUST MIGHT GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR.
REMEMBER, YOU CALLED ME –AND HERE I, AM. IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP PRAYING.
WELL, GO ON.
I’m scared to.
SCARED? OF WHAT?
I know what you’ll say.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
WHAT ABOUT POLLY?
See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she’s told lies
about me, spread stories. She never paid back the money she owes me. I’ve sworn to get even with her!
BUT — YOUR PRAYER — WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?
I didn’t — mean it.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU’RE HONEST. BUT, IT’S QUITE A LOAD CARRYING AROUND ALL THAT BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT ISN’T IT?
Yes, but I’ll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She’ll wish she had never been born.
NO, YOU WON’T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU’LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN’T SWEET. YOU KNOW HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE-WELL, I CAN CHANGE THAT.
You can? How?
FORGIVE POLLY. THEN, I’LL FORGIVE YOU; AND THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE POLLY”S PROBLEM — NOT YOURS. YOU WILL HAVE SETTLED THE PROBLEM AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED.
Oh, you know, you’re right. You always are. And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You…, (sigh). All right…all right…I forgive her.
THERE NOW! WONDERFUL! HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don’t think I’ll go to bed uptight tonight. I haven’t been getting much rest, you know.
YEAH, I KNOW. BUT, YOU’RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER ARE YOU? GO ON.
Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
GOOD! GOOD! I’LL DO THAT. JUST DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.
What do you mean by that?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Yeah. I know.
OKAY. GO AHEAD. FINISH YOUR PRAYER.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY –WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY?
No, but I’d like to know. I want to please you now. I’ve really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can see now how great that would be. So, tell me … how do I make you happy?
YOU JUST DID!!!
January 18, 2003
I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I’m not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December.
I don’t agree with Darwin, but I didn’t go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution.
Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So, what’s the big deal? It’s not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They’re just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.
“But it’s a Christian prayer,” some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. And we are in the Bible Belt. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect–somebody chanting Hare Krishna? If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear! a Jewish prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a Ping-Pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn’t be offended. It wouldn’t bother me one bit. When in Rome…
“But what about the atheists?” is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We’re not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that’s asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer. Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do.
I don’t think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world’s foundations. Nor do I believe that not praying will result in more serious injuries on the field or more fatal car crashes after the game. In fact, I’m not so sure God would even be at all these games if he didn’t have to be. That’s just one of the downsides of omnipresence. If God really liked sports, the Russians would never have won a single gold medal, New York would never play in a World Series and Deion Sanders’ toe would be healed by now.
Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us just to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying. God, help us.
And if that last sentence offends you – well……….just sue me.
January 12, 2003
What is an American?
You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American – any American.
So, an Australian dentist wrote the following to let everyone know what an American is, so they would know when they found one. An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may, also, be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan.
An American may, also, be a Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans. An American is Christian, or he or she could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, nor to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government or for God.
An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each man and woman to the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need. When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country. As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.
Americans welcome the best – the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes. But they also welcome the least. One national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes “your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed.” These in fact are the people who built America. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, earning a better life for their families.
I’ve been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 other countries and cultures with first languages other than English – including those countries of the 9/11 terrorists.
So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler tried. So did General Tojo, Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world. But, doing so would be futile because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Pass this around the World.
January 5, 2003
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the
house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.
When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the
front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.”
What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so
differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.
So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.
Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity.
The plaque on the wall says, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.”
Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.
December 29, 2002
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
THIS DAY IS YOURS DON’T THROW IT AWAY
May God Bless You,
“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world”
December 22, 2002
When you think life is hard for you, remember this story.
I hurried into the local department store to grab a few last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I wished that I could just sleep through it. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department.
Once again, I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys and wondered if the grandkids would even play with them. I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy, about 5 holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered whom the doll was for.
I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, “Are you sure I don’t have enough money”? She replied a bit impatiently, “You know that you don’t have enough money for it”. The aunt told the little boy not go anywhere, that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes, and then she left the aisle.
The little boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit I asked the little boy who the doll was for. He said, “It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it”. I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it.
He said, “No, Santa can’t go where my sister is, I have to give the doll to my Mama to take to her”. I asked him where his sister was. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, “She has gone to be with Jesus. My Daddy says that Mama is going to have to go be with her”.
My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the little boy looked at me again and said, “I told my Daddy to tell Mama not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store”.
Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he’d had taken at the front of the store. He said, “I want my Momma to take these with her so she won’t ever forget me. I love my Momma so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me. But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister”.
I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet. While he was not looking I reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills. I asked the little boy, “Shall we count that money one more time”?
He grew excited and said, “Yes, I just know is has to be enough”. So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it. Of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, “Thank you, Jesus, for giving me enough money”.
Then the little boy said, “I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Momma can take it with her to give to my sister. And, He heard my prayer. I wanted to ask Him for enough to buy my Momma a white rose, but I didn’t ask Him, but He gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Momma. She loves white roses so very, very much”.
In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about
the little boy as I finished my shopping, in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the Mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on whether or not to remove the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.
Two days later I read in the paper that the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I could not forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I could not help
myself, and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young mother was. There she was, holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store. I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming, and in a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy
Proud of our military
This is the video that was produced to highlight the Navy/Marine Corps Team, and will be shown as a trailer in movie theaters nationwide. It’s pretty awesome and reflects the why they are there and the importance of what each of them do to support our forces in harms way.
December 7, 2002
These are written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy…….I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.I’ve learned…. That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.I’ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.I’ve learned…. That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.I’ve learned…. That life is tough, but I’m tougher.I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.I’ve learned…. That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.I’ve learned … That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.I’ve learned…. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
December 1, 2002
I Can’t Believe You Made It !
If you lived as a child in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s or 70’s.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have…
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention hitchhiking
to town as a young kid!)
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable.
We played dodgeball and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth, and there were no law suits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us.
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda but we were never overweight…we were always outside playing. We shared one grape soda with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, Personal Computers, Internet chat rooms … we had friends. We went outside and found them. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! Without a guardian.
How did we do it?
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t, had to learn to deal with disappointment….. Some students weren’t as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade…..Horrors. Tests were not adjusted for any reason.
Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected. No one to hide behind.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law, imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
And you’re one of them.