Shortarmguy's Inspirational Page
On this page, I will post the most inspirational material I receive on any given day. So email email@example.com the best stuff you get. Life can be darn tough sometimes and every now and then you might need a little happiness booster. I’m hoping this page may accomplish that. After you read a few of these, you can push back from your keyboard, throw your arms in the air, wave them back and forth and scream “I’m glad to be alive!” If this happens to you, please send pictures and I’ll post them here!
May 25, 2003
A priest passing through his church in the middle of the day.
Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle,
The priest frowned as he saw the man hadn’t shaved in a while.
His shirt was kinda shabby and his coat was worn and frayed,
the man knelt, he bowed his head, then rose and walked away.
In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap.
Well, the priest’s suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him, “What are you doing here?”
The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time, for finding strength and power.
“I stay only moments, see, because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord, this is kinda what I say:
“I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY.”
The priest feeling foolish, told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime.
Time to go, Jim smiled, said “Thanks.” He hurried to the door.
The priest knelt at the altar, he’d never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love, and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim’s prayer:
“I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
I DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY.”
Past noon one day, the priest noticed that old Jim hadn’t come.
As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him, learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried, but he’d given them a thrill.
The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious. Changed people, were his reward.
The head nurse couldn’t understand
when no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had.
The priest stayed by his bed, he voiced the nurse’s concern:
No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile;
“the nurse is wrong, she couldn’t know, that in here all the while
everyday at noon He’s here, a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me:
“I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM, HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY, I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS, CHECKING IN TODAY.”
May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you.
May 18, 2003
Happy Mother’s Day To All The Mothers Out There!
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love.
A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife’s idea. “I know that you love her,” she said one day, taking me by surprise. “But I love YOU too,” I protested. “I know, but you also love her.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well,” she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you,” I responded.
“Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment then said “I would like that very much.” That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting”.
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I respond.
During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each others life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you”. I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.
Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn’t be there but, never-the-less, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you.”
At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time:
“I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off to “some other time”.
Yesterday is a canceled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note.
Today is cash….Spend it wisely.
May 11, 2003
A little background – The German Army is at Gates of all military installations in Germany providing entry control on a 24 X 7 basis to relieve US Forces that are in Middle East. A different perspective on our German allies. Our governments may be at odds over Iraq Policy – but Military understands Military. Here are our Allies!
Sunday, 30 March 2003
As usual I was running late. So, you can imagine my frustration level as I approached the main gate of Ramstein Air Base only to find traffic backed up! Nearing the checkpoint I realized that not only was there a long line of cars, but traffic had come to a complete stop as a result of all entrance gates being closed. Over the past 18-months, there have been many opportunities to practice our patience as we have had to “hurry up and wait” as a result of heightened security. While we realize the necessity, it’s still frustrating at times for even the most easy-going folks. This was one of those times for me! I needed to be where I was going, and I needed to be there NOW!
The German soldiers, the ones manning the entrances of American military installations here in Germany, were just milling around, chatting as if those of us in line had all the time in the world. Things seemed to go from bad to worse! The German gate guards began walking among the stopped cars, asking us to turn off our engines and headlights. I realized that no traffic was exiting or entering the Air Base. My feelings of frustration began to turn to ones of concern.
Just what was going on?
A few minutes later I noticed blue lights approaching from the direction of the air terminal. Close behind were two military medical buses with their RED CROSS . Lights were on in the buses, and I.V. bags could be seen hanging. It was then that I realized that these were more of our wounded warriors being transported from the battlefields to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center for treatment.
I certainly wasn’t prepared for what happened next. All of the German soldiers, our gate guards, began walking toward the concrete barriers that divide the inbound and outbound lanes of traffic. As the blue lights neared, more German soldiers seemed to appear from nowhere, lining the road, shoulder to shoulder. Right on cue, without a word being spoken, these soldiers snapped a sharp salute as the buses drove pass, rendering arms until well after the last bus had passed.
Needless to say, I was speechless and deeply moved. What a show of respect for fellow soldiers!
Soldier to Soldier, rendering honor and respect! Our allies, our comrades, those who know the price that some have to pay for freedom did not have to be asked or prompted, it came from their character and soldiering heart! May God bless and watch over all soldiers and their loved ones as they stand in harm’s way for us!
Blessings and Peace,
CH (COL) DAVID E.MCLEAN
CHIEF, PASTORAL SERVICES ERMC/LRMC
May 4, 2003
I’ll be happy when…
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with …. and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting …
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until you die.
There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and, dance like no one’s watching.
April 27, 2003
I have no idea if this story is true or not, but it sure is interesting if it is.
Sandstorms in IRAQ
I am sure that all of you heard about the sandstorm in Iraq last Tuesday and Wednesday (the worst in 100 years some say) and the drenching rain that followed the next day. Our troops were bogged down and couldn’t move effectively. Iraqi TV claimed that this was God’s judgment on U.S. actions. The media was already wondering if the troops were in a “quagmire” and dire predictions of gloom and doom came from the left wing media.
What they didn’t report was that the day after the weather had cleared, the Marine group that was mired the worst looked out at the plain they were just about to cross. What did they see? Hundreds if not thousands of anti-tank and anti-personnel mines had been uncovered by the wind and then washed off by the rain. If they had proceeded as planned, many lives would have undoubtedly been lost. As it was, they simply drove around them and let the demolition teams destroy them.
Praises be to His mighty name! Thank you God, for protecting our young men!
One person once asked George Washington if he thought God was on his side. His reply is reported to be, “It is not that God should be on our side, but that we be on His.”
In God we trust!
April 20, 2003
I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel uncomfortable.
One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. So before I got married and committed life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.
What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. So, she said, I’ll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and instead went to the front door… I opened it, and stepped out of the house.
Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn’t have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
Moral of the story:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
(Obviously I need more inspirational material for this section of the site!! Please email any good stories at firstname.lastname@example.org)
April 13, 2003
I am a small and precious child,
my dad’s been sent to fight…
The only place I’ll see his face,
is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days
For my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud.
My daddy’s got your back.
I am a caring mother.
My son may go to war…
My mind is filled with worries
that I have never known before
Everyday I try to keep
my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared, but I am proud.
My son has got your back.
I am a strong and loving wife,
with a husband soon to go.
There are times I’m terrified
in a way most never know.
I bite my lip, and force a smile
as I watch my husband pack…
My heart may break, but I am proud.
My husbands got your back…
I am a soldier, Serving Proudly, standing tall.
I fight for freedom, yours and mine by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing, the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I’ll come home. It’s me who’s got your back.
I would urge all of you as good, God fearing, patriotic, AMERICAN
citizens to stand by all of the people that are already over there
preparing to give their lives for us and our way of life.
Let us not have another Vietnam and all the callous hatred that our
people had to come home to face.
April 6, 2003
To nobody’s surprise there were protesters today in DC, they attempted to disrupt the metro system and block the Key Bridge, a leading artery into DC from Northern Virginia. I got hosed twice because I come in from NoVA on the metro and it is raining hard which makes traffic worse any way. My commute was long and arduous and only caused further resentment for protesters (but that isn’t the point of this thread). Anyway, I’ll get to the point.
I got off my train in Rosslyn because I had to use the bathroom and the train was moving quite slowly. When I was getting back on the train, there were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman’s shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, “Ma’am, don’t you care about the children of Iraq?”
The old woman looked up at her and said, “Honey, my first husband died in France during World War II so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth your country. And if you touch me again, I’ll stick this umbrella up your a$$ and open it.”
I’m glad to report that loud applause broke out among the onlookers and the young protester was at a total loss for words.
Inspiration from the past
Feedback for me?
Suggestions for site improvements?
Funny jokes, audio files, video files that I can post here?
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Naked pictures of yourself or your girlfriend?
Email me at mailto:email@example.com