Drawings

Shortarmguy was chastised by a missbitch@cruelgirl.net for this page.  

Here is a portion of MissBitch’s email:

The person you received this email from did not create that document. It was made by this guy: http://maddox.xmission.com/

Specifically his page: http://maddox.xmission.com/irule.html is what the person who sent you the email ripped off.

The guy who made the site knows about people ripping off his stuff.. and it might be safe to say he’s not too impressed: http://maddox.xmission.com/plagiarism.html

You might wanna plug him and his site, or take down his stuff, since posting someone else’s stuff like that without their permission is a breach of copyright law. I’m sure you haven’t posted it with the intention of doing such a thing, though.

Hope this clears it up for ya. If you don’t do anything I’ll email Maddox, which is understandable, since it’s his stuff.

-B H

Shortarmguy’s reply to MissBitch:

I get many, many different funny emails submitted to me to be used on my site.  I always try to give credit to the original creator’s of the content when I can.  I believe you can find many examples of this on my website currently.

When I received this page of Crappy Children’s artwork, it came to me in a Word document with no signature or link to the original creator.  I thought it was a great piece, so I included it on my funniest emails of the week.  Since it was in a Word Document, I converted it to an HTML page on my website.  As can be seen in my opening paragraph, I never tried to take credit as being the original creator of the piece.

After about a week of it being on my site, I noticed I received a few hits from the search engines for people searching for the phrase “Crappy Children’s Artwork”.  I clicked on Google for the phrase and noticed the Maddox Page.  I read the page and couldn’t decide if he was the original creator or if he just received the email like I did.  So I punted.  I listed Maddox as one of my favorite links and didn’t address the issue of whether he was the original creator of crappy children’s artwork or not.  On October 26th, I posted one of his other pages as can be seen here. 

Signs Movie — The movie Signs summed up in 4 easy steps.  If you haven’t seen the movie, this site will save you a couple hours time.  If you have seen it, this site will point out for you some plot-holes that maybe you didn’t notice the first time around!

I haven’t thought about the page again until MissBitch’s email.  

My apologies to Maddox.  I now have credited the page to him several times above and linked to his site in 3 places, but if he wants me to take the page down, please have him email me at shortarmguy@aol.com

Below is how the page originally appeared:

 

Shortarmguy received this email from someone who obviously doesn’t have kids.  And they obviously don’t understand what it means to be proud of your children’s accomplishments, no matter how sucky those accomplishments may be.

However, it’s pretty damn funny…..so it had to be posted!

I am better than your kids.

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I’ve taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I’ll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Megan, age 4

First of all, I don’t even know what this is.

If it’s supposed to be a dog, then it’s the shittiest dog I’ve ever seen.

F

Megan, age 4

You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America’s colors were red, white and blue. There’s no yellow anywhere, traitor.

 

F

Bryce, age 10

This one wouldn’t be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but…

F

Lisa, age 6

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren’t supposed to have ears, dipshit.

F

Cameron, age 4

Terrible

F

I win. When I go into work next, I’m going to surprise all my co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and their inane drawings.

More crappy children’s art work

The premise: I can draw better, spell better, and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I’ve taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I’ll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

 

Jon, age 8

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I’ve never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.

F

Rachel, age 7

That’s interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn’t that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.

F

Jason, age 6

This one would receive an “A” if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I’ve pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this.

F

Seth, age 4

Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm

F

Kelly, age 9

This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they’d come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers?

F

I can’t believe how much I rule.