Denver Gas And Oil Show 2008

It was off to Denver, Colorado this week for The Society of Petroleum Engineers (SPE) 2008 Annual Technical Conference and Exhibition (ATCE).  The convention brought together more than 9,800 oil and gas E&P professionals from around the world.  We were there to show off two new versions of the powerful Nor-Tech Portable Cluster!

Not only did Nor-Tech have it’s own booth, we also had a second portable cluster in the Microsoft Booth as well.   Microsoft has been a very strong partner helping Nor-Tech to develop it’s growing business in high performance Super Computers.   It was an exciting week to be involved with Microsoft because they just launched their newest cluster operating system titled Windows HPC Server 2008.  If any readers have interest in Super Computers, give me a call at Nor-Tech and I’ll tell you all about it until your ears bleed.

While I was there, I learned a whole bunch about advanced drilling techniques. It made me freaked out most of time I was there because every where I turned I’d see humongous tools like these.  I started having some really nasty flashbacks to my colonoscopy appointment last week.  It was quite disturbing.

A lot of the companies in attendance had really fancy booths where they featured open bars, catered lunches, games, prizes, and live presentations.  It appears the oil and gas industry has the ability to spend a little bit of extra money for marketing functions lately.  How shocking.

This company had a really elaborate booth with a golf game where each hole was attended by a group of lovely, young ladies who helped players keep their scores and earn prizes.  The company’s name was BJ Services.   Every day, I’d stop by their booth and say to one of the attractive young ladies: “I’d like to inquire about BJ Services?”  Then I’d snicker and run away.

On Monday night, we went out with some of our friends on the HPC team at Microsoft for a fine dinner and to enjoy watching Monday Night Football.  There was much more talk about football then there was about Super Computers which tends to make me happy.   

On Tuesday night, we went out with our friend, Chris, from Supermicro.  As you’ll notice in the picture, I was seated directly next to Nick as opposed to opposite sides of the table as we were the night before.  For some reason, this seating arrangement causes me get drunker and angrier than usual, but I haven’t exactly figured out why it works out that way.

After dinner, we went to The Lucky Strike Bar and Bowling Alley to attend an SPE 2008 bash being thrown by Halliburton.  I was kind of hoping to see Dick Cheney at the party getting hammered, but he must have left before we got there.

We played pool against these nice, young gentleman named Tomura and Sachin.  They are both students studying to be petroleum engineers.  I told them I was impressed and a bit envious of them because they are preparing for careers that will be quite lucrative in terms of it’s income potential.  Then I beat their butts in pool to try make my self feel a little better inside.  It worked. 

We stopped by a bar where the girls go up and dance on the bar.  It’s called Coyote Ugly.  I’m still trying to figure out why they call it that.

After returning to the office, I was invited to go golfing with some friends and future PGA All Stars, Jeff, Brad, and Bob.  These guys amazed me with their powerful strokes.  Then we went golfing and they were pretty impressive there as well!

Nice Emails of the Week

Shortarmguy, I hope you are having a good day.  Thought I would send
this to you:)

Keep smiling friend

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, ‘Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?’

God replied, ‘Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create.’

So Adam says,’ When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?’

‘I did that, Adam, so that you could love her.’

‘Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?’

‘I did that Adam so that you could love her.’

‘Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?’

‘Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you’

Hi Todd,

I just saw the episode of Miami Ink with you on it. Before today I had no idea what a Shortarmguy was but I know now that I’ll never forget. I thought that the attitude you have to life is really cool. I think its easy for a lot of people who don’t have what the media calls the perfect body to bitch and moan about it. Others get on with life and have a great time doing it. Your story and your attitude and happiness have inspired me to live my life to the fullest and get the most out of it that I can.

And your site is DAMN funny! I loved reading your story and especially the jokes you would make. They’re gold Todd!!! Gold!!

Anyways its getting late here but yeah, just wanted to say thanks much for inspiration!

Ryan

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Videos

Click on the Pictures to View!

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Videos for September 28, 2008

Bad Day In Eden

Bucks Boxing

Or What It Would Look Like If I Fought a Guy with Arms Like Mine

Ravenstoke, Alaska

Church Fight!

This is going to be a problem.

Clever.

Fire Alarm For Cheapskates

I need to get this for my collection.

More Demotivators

Quote of the Week

“If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. No one would have remembered him, either.”

— Anonymous

Jokes of the Week

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!’
 
My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!’

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
 
Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’
 
She explained, ‘The egg timer’s broken’
 

Shortarmguy’s Favorite Websites

September 28, 2008

 

Wario Land — If this video is any indication, this game is intense!

 

Match-O-Matic — Don’t know who to vote for?  This site might help…

Lebron James Loses a Game of Horse to a Fan!

Shortarmguy’s Emails To Make You Think

Email Shortarmguy at Shortarmguy@aol.com

September 28, 2008

THIBODAUX , La. –A medical student who blindfolds his friends to keep his favorite offshore fishing spot secret has come up with a record-beating fish — a Warsaw grouper weighing 359.1 pounds.

The giant hauled in by J.J. Tabor of Thibodaux is 12 ounces above the previous Louisiana state record, a state biologist confirmed.  “It’s been cut down to fillets. The first fillet weighed 53 pounds,” Tabor said.

He caught it near an oil rig 70 miles south of Fourchon, in 400 feet of water. He won’t give a more specific description.
 
“It’s J.J.’s secret,” said Joey Rodrigue, a friend from Baton Rouge who joined Tabor and Tabor’s father, John, on the record-making trip Saturday.  “I don’t even know where I was. He blindfolds us on the way out.”

Tabor said he thought at first that his hook with a live hard tail on it had  the bottom “until I felt the big head shake.”  Rodrigue steered away from the rig.  “I put myself in a harness and just had to lay back and fight,” J.J. Tabor said. “It was about a 15 or 20 minute fight.”

Tabor cleaned the fish late Monday afternoon outside his father’s auto repair shop in Thibodaux.  “We’ll split it up,” he said.  “I’ll make some phone calls and try to get rid of it fresh. The rest, we’ll vacuum pack it and cook it later.”

Tabor says he believes the fish is about 33 years old.  He plans to send an inner-ear bone called the otolith to a university in Florida where researchers can help determine the age of the fish. He hopes to get the results in about four weeks.  The world record, caught off Florida in 1985, is 436 pounds, 12 ounces.